Let’s be honest, “Marvel’s The . . . → Read More: BSR Fantasy Summer Movie League: Week 3, “Battleship” Sunk]]> As the field begins to fill out, let’s check in on Week 3 of the BSR Fantasy Summer Movie Leage. Here’s a quick primer on our league if you missed it before. You can go back and hear our draft on the BSR podcast, as well, or just nerd out on our spreadsheet.

Let’s be honest, “Marvel’s The Avengers” isn’t going to see a real challenge until “Prometheus” in two weeks, but even then it may not waver from the top spot, still raking in cash here in late May. Last week saw my team make its debut with “The Dictator,” which I picked up after dropping “The Wettest County” (recently re-titled as “Lawless”). “The Dictator” was fairly well-reviewed and did okay opening to $24.5M, so I’m happy withe the move.

“Battleship,” however, is not shaping up to be the blockbuster Zach Griffin hoped it would be when he took it no. 7 overall. The floating disaster only made a million more bucks than “The Dictator” and is getting taken to the critical woodshed at 36%. Sometimes America isn’t as shallow as it seems.

This week Patrick Guthrie gets in the game with “Chernobyl Diaries,” which looks terrifying and may gain some steam off the “Cabin in the Woods” buzz. “Men in Black III” has a few solid reviews in, but the question will be if “The Avengers” has wound down enough to give “MiB III” a chance to rake some cash.

Sadler is on the board with the highly favorable early reviews of Wes Anderson’s “Moonrise Kingdom,” which opens in limited release this week.

Standings: 1-Zach Wilt (76.59), 2-Dave Gilmore (65.61), 3-Matt Sadler (48.50), 4-Matt Lund (23.83), 5-Zach Griffin (19.68), 6-Patrick Guthrie (00.00)

League Activity: No adds/drops

Opening This Week: “Men in Black III” (Dave Gilmore), “Moonrise Kingdom” (Matt Sadler), “Chernobyl Diaries” (Patrick Guthrie)

Top Film: “Marvel’s The Avengers” ($457.7M/93%, total score 76.59) Zach Wilt

Worst Film: “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” ($10.5M/22%, total score 11.69) Not Owned

It’s tough to be worried about a 5-2 week, but I’ll try and make sure you are anyways. Baltimore’s starters ERA this month is an awful 5.17 (27th in MLB). After seeing that number, it shouldn’t surprise you that the already heavily taxed bullpen has . . . → Read More: I’m From Out of Town: May 22]]>

Come on Kevin Gregg, just smile...I'm getting nervous

It’s tough to be worried about a 5-2 week, but I’ll try and make sure you are anyways. Baltimore’s starters ERA this month is an awful 5.17 (27^th in MLB). After seeing that number, it shouldn’t surprise you that the already heavily taxed bullpen has had an oversized load of innings dumped on it in May (80.2 to be exact, the most in the majors). With one of its better members on the D.L., it was surprising it took until last night for the bullpen to cave (good to see Kevin Gregg’s completely emotionless face again. It legitimately borders on sociopathic, he terrifies me for a whole myriad of reasons).

Down below I’ve got some interesting questions that are going to need to be answered soon. Stuff like: do you like the new/old Markakis? How many fingers would you cut off to keep Adam Jones here (remember, you have to shake his hand when he signs the contract)? What do you do when Brian Roberts rises from the dead and is ready to play (don’t keep him chained up in the barn, he’s not the Brian you knew anymore)? You’re welcome to all of that, and whatever is left in the fridge, make yourself at home.

Nick Markakis is on pace for 30 HR’s (career high)…and 124 strikeouts (career high)

A lot of Oriole fans had been wondering the past few years exactly where Nick Markakis’ power stroke went after back-to-back 20 HR seasons in 2007 and 2008. Well call off the search party, because it appears Nick has unearthed it. Markakis hit his 8^th HR of the season over the weekend – a no-doubt crush job to right field – a mark he didn’t reach until his 90^th game last season. In fact, this the quickest Markakis has EVER gotten to 8 home runs (DRAW CRAZY CONCLUSIONS! HE’S GOING TO CATCH BARRY BONDS!)

With this uptick in power, Markakis is experiencing a drop off in batting average and he’s striking out A LOT more than he usually does. Those 124 strikeouts would be 11 more than his career high in 2008, and his .257 batting average doesn’t look like it’s an aberration (.273 BABIP).

The question is, now that power hitting Nick is back, how do you feel? Do you miss the ’09-’11 version who was a steady .291-hitting influence on the lineup, someone who would never surprise you but was great to come home to? Or, are you a fan of the new/old Nick? One who is at times alternately impressive (.467 SLG) and frustrating (12 straight games with a strikeout)? Kind of like picking the sweet girl next door or the hot chick on bipolar meds? (Mark Reynolds would be a woman that spontaneously morphs between looking like Roseanne Barr and Rose Byrne. Kind of like Mystique from X-Men with less plate discipline).

(Insert Awesome Adam Jones stat here)

Three 10+ game hitting streaks. Tied for the 2^nd most home runs in baseball. Currently on pace for 50+ HR’s and 20+ steals. These are all facts that are fun to say for you, me (#SupportYourLocalFantasyTeam), and a man named Nez Balelo. Nez Balelo will be taking a lot of Dan Duquette’s money this offseason. I’ll let you figure out if it’s because he’s Jones’ agent or the head of a Russian crime syndicate. Either way, I’d have Liam Neeson on speed dial for the negotiations.

I like to compare Jones to my other favorite CF in baseball, Andrew McCutchen, but unlike the Dutchman, AJ is doing the contract year right. I picture his deal falling right in between McCutchen’s (6 yr/51.5 mil) and the government bailout money that was offered to Matt Kemp (8 yr/160 mil), so about 6 years, 90 million dollars.

Coming from a person who went through a similarly….interesting situation with his own team last year, I would set a financial breaking point for what you want to pay Adam Jones. Again: I would pay up, he’s just entering his prime and is plenty of people’s pick for “best centerfielder for the next 10 years not named Kemp”. But, there is always a chance that Balelo asks for Kemp money in unmarked bills if Jones keeps this up. IF that unfortunate situation does appear to be occurring at the trade deadline, and the team and player are at opposite ends of a chasm on contract negotiations, start shopping his MVP-level talent, and look to stock the minor leagues with 3 or 4 outstanding talents along with a starter in return.

Or Duquette can take the opposite route, keep his star that he knows he can’t resign, not offer a contract in the offseason, and watch the fans favorite player sign with a division rival thus killing any goodwill between him and the fans. Maybe then he can make some bad investments and fall deep in debt. Maybe hire bankruptcy consultants that he denies are bankruptcy consultants. Maybe give an interview that slanders the rest of the players on the t- I HATE THE WILPONS, I HATE THEM WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY THIN PREYING MANTIS-LIKE BODY.

Left-Handers are not welcome here

This is amazing to me. Opposing lefties have the same average versus Darren O’Day as they do against Aroldis Chapman (both .107). I don’t think this will continue, and I say that because O’Day reminds everyone a lot of of former Oriole/Misfit Toy Island resident Chad Bradford. Similar motion, similar stuff, NOT similar success against lefties (the previous sidewinder’s Opp BA vs. LHB was a scorching .315).

But even if this is the case, the Orioles relievers are having amazing success against lefties while having only one subpar southpaw (Troy Patton and his 4.35 ERA) of their own in the pen. So, if you’re Dan Duquette, can you give me a cushy front office job? And also, do you start perusing around Ned Flanders’ Leftorium (Minnesota’s Brian Duensing? New York’s Tim Byrdak?) knowing that you’ll have to give something up? Or do you stick with a bunch of guys who are all having career seasons, but may be at a higher risk for developing arthritis (thank you Wikipedia).

What do you do when the dead come back to life?

            I miss the Walking Dead. Here though, I’m talking about Zach Britton and Brian Roberts. Obviously, both of them have a long way to go. Britton is making his third start of extended spring training, and every sentence with Roberts’ name in it for the last year has concluded with a question mark. But eventually, they’re both going to be back, and…well, what does that mean?

I’m really not sure what to make of Britton, who rocketed out of the gates last year (5-2, 2.35 ERA in his first 10 starts) before tumbling catastrophically back to earth from the end of May-July. Obviously, there’s a term called the rookie wall for a reason, but his 2 starts at Boston and at New York in July last year were hideous. He pitched a TOTAL of one inning and allowed 17 runs.

The most logical solution is to bump Hunter to either a crowded bullpen or the minors and slot in Britton. But, if Hunter continues to struggle (and he will, his FIP is still well into the 5’s), how soon do you slot in Britton? Do you risk using feast or famine Pineiro as a stopgap so Britton can have an extended stay in the minors, or just throw Britton straight in the fire?

On the other hand, Roberts will hopefully be standing in the Camden Yards on-deck circle at some point this season. Robert Andino’s cult following swelled to Big Lebowski and Community levels early in the season, but Andino looks like he might be better suited as a sub at this point. He leads all second basemen in errors (7), leads the team in strikeouts (40), and is hitting a paltry .218 in May. There’s no way to predict what you’ll get from a 34 year old who’s been out of baseball for a year, and was last seen hitting .221 with a .273 OBP. Do you give the former All-Star his spot back when he returns? Slide Andino to a different spot (he played 19 games at 3^rd) or to the bench? I leave Andino right where he is

Three thoughts on the rest of the AL East

• I’m going to condense two players into one, because neither of them deserve an individual thought: can we all just give up on Clay Buchholz and Phil Hughes? The two former blue ribbon winners of the Red Sox and Yankees farm systems have had one full good season between them (Clay Buchholz’s 2010), and have survived based on the run support silver spoon they’re given every year (Hughes 1^st in RSA in 2010, Buchholz 1^st in 2012). On the surface, Phil and Clay look like two young aces with sharp breaking pitches and above average pepper, but under the hood they’re held together with scotch tape. Buchholz regularly has a K/BB under 2, and in Hughes’ 18 win season in 2010 he had the 12^th worst HR/9 in baseball (1.28). The Yankees and Red Sox would be smart to realize that both pitchers don’t even eat innings, and shop them to the highest bidder ASAP.

• The Red Sox are starting to figure it out right now. I had them missing the playoffs to start the season, but Bobby V finally seems to have found the right mix in the bullpen (1.64 bullpen ERA since the start of May). The combination of that, and injuries completely derailing the Yankees pen have left the two teams tied at the start of Tuesday.The Yankees ace in the hole has always been their bullpen, which this season looked exceptional at the start (Soriano-Robertson-Rivera looked like a throwback to the days of Lloyd/Nelson-Rivera-Wetteland). Now, it’s an even race in the pens, with the Yankees having a slight advantage with the lineup, and the Red Sox having a better starting rotation. Should be interesting to see who catches Tampa.

• In the category of things I never thought I’d say 10 years ago: Tampa Bay is again the class of this division. With the exception of struggling phenom Matt Moore, the rotation has been far and away the best in the division. David Price and James Shields finally coordinated their on years, Jeremy Hellickson seems hell bent on not regressing despite what all the advanced metrics say, and Jeff Niemann is a 5^th starter capable of shutting down the Yankees (as he did in his last start). They spot started Alex Cobb, and he conjured a 7-inning gem against the best team in N.L. (seriously, how deep does the pitching go down there?)The team has played .500 ball in the absence of their one consistent source of offense, and if they can stay similarly afloat until he gets back in mid-June, they’ll be in very good shape for the stretch run. As fun as it is to knock off the Yankees and the Red Sox, don’t forget for a second that neither of them is the team to catch in this division this year.

Three Things to Watch

1)   I don’t advocate anything from Duke, which is why it’s so tough for me to admit that I love this. But it’s an awesome commercial, and the best part is how he sold it with a couple of bricks. BACKBOOOAAARRRDD!!! I dare you not to start laughing when you see the “Dinner’s Served”.

2)   Brick, give a nice message to the people

3)   Nick Kroll has a funny video on FunnyOrDie with Selena Gomez, but any time I see him, I just think of this.

Well done, Mike.

In a piece entitled “Fans who yell ‘Oh!’ during national anthem are tainting a moment meant . . . → Read More: Washington Post’s Mike Wise Says Orioles Fans “Ruin” Star Spangled Banner]]>

Mike Wise of the Washington Post has successfully fulfilled his duties as a columnist this week.  He’s written an opinionated piece about sports that has people debating a topic that ultimately has no solution.

Well done, Mike.

In a piece entitled “Fans who yell ‘Oh!’ during national anthem are tainting a moment meant to unite Americans“, Wise calls out Orioles fans that rudely interrupting the Star Spangled Banner at Nationals Park.

How dare people from Baltimore do such a thing in our NATION’s capital.

Wise didn’t go as far as to say that Orioles fans were being unpatriotic by yelling “OH”, but did say that they undermined the idea that the song was written to unite instead of divide.  ”A national anthem is a national anthem, not a convenient vehicle for one’s immense pride in his or her team,” Wise wrote.

He conveniently tied an unrelated Davey Johnson quote about the Orioles fan attendance to prove his point about the anthem.  ”I hope I don’t hear, during the national anthem, the ‘Ohs!’ too loud. But I’m sure I probably will,” Johnson said.

“Sadly, Skip, it’s in their blood,” Wise responded.

I tend to side with the Baltimore Sun’s Peter Schmuck.

The Nationals, meanwhile, dress up four employees like giant cartoonish mascots of our greatest presidents and make them participate in a “sausage race” during every home game. Where’s the patriotic outrage?

Right on, Pete.

If we’re looking to be outraged about something allow me to question the fan base for a second. I attended Friday night’s game in D.C. and yes, I shouted ‘OH’ as loud as a possible could, but that’s not my point.

While sitting in section 111, I was continuously blocked by fans in my section getting up in the middle of an inning to go grab some chili fries or chicken fingers or popcorn or cotton candy or overpriced crappy beer.  It got to the point where I wanted to stop one of the constantly roaming Nationals fans and ask them the score just to see if they had any clue as to what was going on during the game.

It seems that Nationals Park is a beautiful place to watch Teddy lose a race during the fourth inning and with its open concourse structure it’s great to roam around if you aren’t interested in baseball.  But I was and I found myself surprised that the same city that watches sixty minutes of hockey so intently could be so carefree at the ballpark.

Now there’s some real drama for you.

Zach Wilt is the Founding Editor of BaltimoreSportsReport.com and Host of the BSR Podcast.  You can follow him on Twitter @zamwi or send him an email: zach@baltimoresportsreport.com.

The O’s slugger is hitting .307 with 14 homers and 29 RBI this . . . → Read More: Adam Jones Ties His Career-High 13 Game Hit Streak]]> Something good did come out of the Orioles loss to the Red Sox last night.  Adam Jones’ single in the bottom of the eighth off of Rich Hill extended the sluggers hit streak to thirteen games which ties a career high.

The O’s slugger is hitting .307 with 14 homers and 29 RBI this season.  During the streak, Jones is hitting .353 with six home runs, a double and 12 RBI.  He’s grounded into two double plays, one of which scored a run for the Birds.

The price tag to re-sign Jones continues to sky rocket as he makes a bid as the American League’s best center fielder.  Right now you have to think he would start for the AL in the All-Star game.

The Orioles are 8-5 during Jones’ streak.

This recap and analysis of WWE’s Monday Night Raw are the personal opinions of the writer. The author of this article is a former promoter, writer, and referee in the wrestling industry. You won’t find analysis as accurate as this anywhere else on the internet.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results 5/21/12 from Richmond, . . . → Read More: WWE Raw Results 5/21 John Cena, Big Show, Laurinaitis Fallout]]>

This recap and analysis of WWE’s Monday Night Raw are the personal opinions of the writer. The author of this article is a former promoter, writer, and referee in the wrestling industry. You won’t find analysis as accurate as this anywhere else on the internet.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results 5/21/12 from Richmond, VA

Raw beings with John Cena coming to the ring.  I’m not positive, but I think that’s the first time he’s ever started the show….  Ugh this is going to be another long night.  Cena is angry so he walks quickly to the ring.  He’s shouting what the hell, what the hell, what the hell.  He stutters like Rainman while trying to spit out that Laurinaitis beat him.  So he recaps what happened at the PPV, where The Big Show turned heel and helped Laurinaitis win.  In what turns out to be a very long promo, Cena continues to ramble.  Cena wants anyone else to be GM.  He tries to make jokes and impersonate Michael Cole and the old anonymous GM.  He says Laurinaitis will come out and talk about some crappy new plan, the next PPV, and People Power.  Eve Torres comes out.  Cena says “John you got really hot, but you still suck.”  Isn’t that awkward for him to say while he’s going through a divorce?  Eve introduces Laurinaitis, who comes out on an old man scooter.  Laurinaitis gets up and is walking with crutches.  He says he was rushed to the hospital after their match.  He names off multiple injuries that he has including nerve damage.  He says he proved he’s a fierce competitor.  Nobody is allowed to lay a finger on him now.

Laurinaitis introduces Big Show and says that he will face Cena at the next PPV No Way Out.  He says he rehired Big Show on Saturday.  Saturday?  Saturday John?  Really?  Because the angle was that nobody under contract was allowed to interfere in the match.  That was the entire purpose behind The Big Show firing.  Laurinaitis just made that entire storyline not make any sense with one stupid mistake.  That was terrible.  Terrible wrestling shows start at the top with management.  Now we have an idea of why this show is booked so horribly.  Now let’s have a vote.  Raise your hand if you want to see Cena vs. Big Show!!!!!  Nobody?  Damn.  Me neither.  Big Show gives a predictable promo explaining why he did what he did.  He needed his job back.  He yells at the people in heel fashion.  How dare they judge him.  Weak promo that really didn’t tie in anything.  David Otunga’s music hits.  A forth person is going to talk.  Sweet, more promos.  I’d much rather see promos than wrestling….Otunga says Cena will lose to him.  Cena tells him to go watch re-runs of Law and Order and that he will hurt him.  Otunga dedicates the match to Laurinaitis then poses as we go to commercial.

John Cena vs. David Otunga- Cena charges Otunga, who goes for an immediate rope break.  Then it happens again.  Cena chases him around the ring, but Otunga stays out of his reach.  Cena gets angrier.  Eventually Otunga catches Cena when he dives back in the ring and pounds him on the mat.  He turns around to pose to Laurinaitis and Eve, then turns into Cena.  Cena hits a clothesline, Attitude Adjustment, and STF.  Otunga taps out.  Cena wins.  Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Titus O’Neil, and Darren Young jump Cena out of nowhere.  Sheamus’ music hits.  He comes running down the aisle and nails Laurinaitis on the way down.  Sheamus hits the ring and cleans house.  The 4 rookies bail to the outside.  What does Sheamus have to do with Cena, Laurinaitis, or this angle?  Once again…lazy way to book things.  The writers don’t understand that they have to find a way to tie these things in instead of just having guys run out.  Laurinaitis yells at his rookies and says he didn’t give them permission to attack Cena.  Laurinaitis makes a handicap, lumberjack, tag match.  He doesn’t name their opponents.

And now it’s time for another WWE writers discussion.  So how do we start Raw tonight?  How about with wrestling?  Nah, people don’t want to see that.  Well, I hear people liked Bryan vs Punk, so why don’t we start with them?  Nah, people were only raving about that match because they didn’t yet see what we had planned for Cena vs Laurinaitis.  Yeah your right, we did a great job booking that.  Everyone pat yourself on the back all at once…pat…pat…pat.  So let’s start Raw with those two guys!  And then we can bring in The Big Show!  And it will be like having everyone’s dream feud of Cena vs Big Show, plus some of the Cena vs Laurinaitis flavor thrown in there.  That’s a gigantic flavorful Cena, Big Show, Laurinaitis, dreamy, sandwich full of storyline.  It’s going to be epic!  The whole world won’t be able to wait until No Way Out because Big Show vs Cena will be the most anticipated match of all time.  I mean, we had Big Show turn on him, and NOBODY saw it coming!  They won’t be able to wait for the followup!  We are geniuses.  Everyone pat yourself on the back again…pat…pat…pat.  So let’s have Cena wrestle two times tonight.  Oh…my…god…that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.  Now we can start and end the show with it!  We can give Cena two long 20 minute matches to really put over his angle!  No no no, I have a better idea.  Let’s make the first match 3 minutes.  Because people don’t really want to see the wrestling anyways.  The less wrestling and more storyline we give them, the happier they will be.  I love it!  Beautiful.  All in favor say I……IIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!

Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring to announce Alberto Del Rio.  Santino Marella interrupts and comes to the ring.  Apparently they have an internet feud happening on one of those terrible WWE Youtube shows.  Santino does the normal comedy spiel and says that Ricardo has a bad accent.  They have a battle rolling their rrrrrrrr’s.  They go back and forth for awhile until Santino scares him with the Cobra glove.  Ricardo’s arms are stuck in his jacket.  So Santino hits him with the Cobra.  Damn that was stupid.  Santino introduces Alberto.  He says he’s the only man who drove his car into the building tonight.  He rolls his rrrrr’s really long.  I really don’t know how to begin to explain how pointless and retarded that was.  I feel dumber having watched that.  Who the hell was the target audience for that?  5 year olds?  Seriously.  Was it 5 year olds?  I really want to know.  Because nobody that has ever gone through puberty would laugh at or be entertained by that.  I’d rather watch a terrible Adam Sandler comedy than sit through that again.  Bring on Jack and Jill or Zohan.  Anything but adolescent Santino comedy sketches.

Del Rio never comes out after being introduced.  Instead they cut to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler who talk about Raw setting a milestone.  I’m incredibly confused.  Why did he introduce Del Rio if he didn’t come out?  Instead we get this promo talking about the 1000th episode of Raw.  Then Cole and Lawler talk about Raw going 3 hours permanently.  Yes, 3 hours.  It’s been hard enough to sit through 2 hours of this crap.  Finally Del Rio comes to the ring.  About 3 minutes after he was introduced.  Santino power walks to the back as we go to commercial.  After the break Michael Cole tries to cover Laurinaitis’ stupidity from earlier in the night.  He says that Big Show and Laurinaitis had a verbal agreement on Saturday and that the contract wasn’t reached until Monday morning.  Uh huh….right.  He already made a mockery out of that worthless storyline, so just let it go please.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton- Tie up to start.  Del Rio pushes Orton into the corner and stomps him.  Orton counters with punches, a body slam, and misses a knee drop.  Kick to the head by Del Rio.  He throws his forearms into the head of Orton.  Very nice way to ground and pound.  He goes for an arm breaker, but Orton moves out of the way.  Stomps to the body by Orton.  He pushes Del Rio into the corner and uses a couple of punches on the turnbuckle.  Orton goes for the hanging DDT through the ropes, but Del Rio rolls through, sends Orton to the outside of the apron, kicks him in the shin, and guillotines his head down to the mat.  That’s the commercial spot.  Good start to the match.  Del Rio is very good.

Back from break Orton is in an arm bar.  Orton fights up, but he’s caught in the arm breaker that Del Rio attempted earlier.  Del Rio continues to work the shoulder with kicks and leaping elbow drops.  Obviously the psychology is Del Rio wearing down the shoulder for the Cross Arm Breaker submission.  Del Rio charges at Orton, but he moves, and Del Rio falls through the ropes to the outside.  Del Rio re-enters the ring but is caught in a snap power slam.  Hanging DDT through the ropes by Orton.  I like how both guys are adapting to each other’s styles and are eventually hitting the moves that they failed in the early going.  Orton sets up for the RKO, but Jericho hits the ring and delivers a Code Breaker.  I’m usually very happy to see Jericho, but I was actually liking this match.  It’s rare to get a good match on Raw.  They finally produce one, and then they ruin it by shortening it and having a run in.  Figures.  Typical Raw booking staff.  At least Orton didn’t go for any covers after cheap moves.  Someone must have paid attention to this article and put a stop to it.

Jericho gets on the mic and shouts “I am the best in the world at everything I do” multiple times.  He hits another Code Breaker on Orton.  He picks up the mic again and shouts some more.  Jericho has appeared to have snapped through frustration in his constant losing.  He was pinned at the PPV by Sheamus because of an Orton RKO.  Jericho picks Orton up and delivers a 3rd Code Breaker.  It’s about time they decide to give him a viscous streak and progress his character.  Once again, it’s a lazy way to start an angle, but I’m sure Jericho will find a way to make the angle work.  Every prolonged storyline he is in turns out to be epic.  That’s his gift to wrestling.  Overall, decent match that was ruined.  It’s not surprising that Raw is no good tonight.  My hopes weren’t up.  This is why the ratings are way down.  Last week’s show were the lowest ratings since January.

Daniel Bryan comes to the ring.  No yes chants.  He’s angry.  Just like Cena was angry.  Just like Jericho was angry.  The angry thing was pretty much the only thing that the writers could think of tonight I guess.  Bryan says he should be WWE Champion.  He shows the footage.  CM Punk taps as Bryan is pinned to the mat.  It was a simultaneous finish.  It’s question and answer time with Daniel Bryan!!!!  Did he make CM Punk tap out?  YES!!!  Should he be WWE Champion?  YES!!!  Will he make CM Punk tap out again?  YES YES YES YES YES!!!  The crowd sucks.  They chant no.  Richmond must be a stupid mark town.  CM Punk’s music hits.  King says he’s never seen footage as doctored as what Bryan just showed.  Really?  That was actual footage.  Turn heel again.  Your stale Lawler.

Punk puts over the match saying that it was amazing.  And yes it was.  It was the only reason why I didn’t want my money back.  Punk shows his own clip from Smackdown.  Bryan hit Kane with a chair and made him believe it was Punk that did it.  The Smackdown writers are so much smarter than the Raw ones.  Smackdown is a much better show period.  CM Punk introduces Bryan to his opponent tonight.  It’s Kane.  Does this mean Kane has just turned face?  That would be awful.  But then again, him as a heel is awful.  There probably isn’t anyone in the history of wrestling that has turned as much as Kane has.  CM Punk is on commentary.  Thank god.  Shut Lawler up.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane- Bryan starts the match with shin kicks to Kane.  Kane comes back with a big boot.  He throws Bryan into the corner and pounds away at him.  Irish whip into the other corner, followed by the predictable running clothesline.  He tries to do the spot again, but Bryan moves.  Bryan runs at him with a running dropkick in the corner.  Kane grabs his throat, but Bryan sends him to the outside.  Suicide dive by Bryan.  CM Punk gets off headsets, grabs a chair, and attempts to hit Kane.  Bryan stops him.  Kane gets up and catches Bryan with the chair.  Kane beats on Bryan with the steel chair.  He throws him back in the ring and uses a chokeslam.  Not even Punk on commentary can save this garbage.  Another chokeslam.  Punk goes into the ring.  He locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Punk does the YES chant.  There’s only one way for me to deal with what just happened…

And now it’s time for another WWE writer’s discuession.  Hey did you guys see what the Smackdown writers did last week?  Yes, wow…how did they ever think of that?  I have no idea…that’s much too advanced for me.  But we should do the same thing on our show!  Great idea!  I think its better to reuse ideas instead of coming up with new ones anyways.  People are always expecting something new.  So when we give them the same thing over and over, they won’t see it coming.  That’s the best way to surprise people!  Then if we never do anything new or different, we never have to stress over thinking about what to do!  Awesome idea.  The people love everything we do anyways.  The ratings are through the roof so I don’t think we should change anything.  And I’m not talking about those stupid Nielsen ratings either, because they don’t really mean anything….I’m talking about the gold stars that Vince McMahon hangs up on our bulletin board beside our names.  We got a lot of gold stars last week!  So even though less people watched the program, we are encouraged to keep doing things the same way we are doing them right now.  I have a question though.  Do you guys know that there are people online who really don’t like what we are doing and want different things?  Like what?  Like more wrestling, more Zack Ryder, more Daniel Bryan, and different ideas?  (Everyone laughs.)  Internet fans?  What do they know?  There are only like 100 of them.  How many people do you see in the crowd with computers?  I don’t see any.  I do see children though.  And children don’t like Daniel Bryan.  So less of him.  In fact, let’s have Kane beat him up.  Because the audience chants NO at him.  So that means people hate him.  And why would you want to see wrestling?  That’s boring.  That means that those guys have to try to entertain the fans themselves.  They aren’t capable of that.  We have to come up with all the ideas to entertain people.  What would Daniel Bryan or CM Punk know about entertaining people?  They don’t write this stuff.   We do.  We are the idea thinkers.  They’ve never written anything.  All Bryan has written is a one word catch phrase that the people only say to mock him.  Thank goodness we had the idea to put it on a shirt and save his career.  I’m actually getting mad thinking about how the internet fans want to see those guys.  Since they are the minority, we are giving Bryan and Punk 5 minutes tonight.  And one of them is getting taken out by Kane.  The other doesn’t get to wrestle.  He can talk on headset.  We need more time for Cena vs Big Show anyways.  All in favor say I.  IIIIIIII!!!!!!

AJ walks up to CM Punk in the back.  She says she liked watching Punk beat up Bryan.  He calls her sadistic.  She starts to go a little psycho.  He tells her that shes the one that’s been acting like a fool.  She begins to cry hysterically.  Punk isn’t really sure how to deal with it.  He pets her head and tells her everything is going to be okay.  She randomly stops crying and smiles.  Punk says he sort of digs crazy chicks.  He walks away and she starts crying again.  Loved it!  As I’ve been saying, this is the best storyline in the company right now.  AJ is doing a great job.  That skit was funny.  I finally laughed.  Hell, I finally smiled.  Can’t wait to see more.  AJ and Eve are the only Diva’s who are relevant right now.  The rest of the division is crap.  But I do like Alicia Fox a lot as a wrestler.  And Beth is pretty good…but she’s buried.

Intercontinental Champion Christian vs. Jinder Mahal- Christian is now a face.  He is also now the Intercontinental Champion after beating Cody Rhodes at Over the Limit.  Tie up to start.  Jinder throws his knee into Christian and shoots him off the ropes.  Christian rolls through and uses a reverse DDT.  Missle dropkick off the top rope.  Mahal recovers and back body drops Christian over the top rope to the outside.  He pulls him back in and throws his knees into Christian’s chest.  Double underhook suplex by Mahal.  Actually a decent match.  Cole and Lawler and making jokes about Booker T and are laughing.  None of this is relevant to the match.  Can you believe that they actually did the same crap during the Punk vs Bryan match at Over the Limit?  What the hell is their problem?  I’d rather hear no commentary at all.  You don’t have to make jokes and undermine everything that happens.  It’s usually appropriate because the shows are typically a joke, but you can’t do it during good wrestling.  You definitely can’t do it during excellent wrestling.

Anyways, Christian uses a sunset flip off the top rope after a few counters.  A reversed Irish whip results in a Christian clothesline.  Mahal powders to the bottom rope.  Christian jumps over the top rope and down to the floor, where he hits an uppercut.  Reverse spinning elbow off the top rope by Christian.  He sets up for the Killswitch, but Mahal reverses and uses a running upper knee lift.  Mahal goes for the Camel Clutch, but Christian rolls through his legs, and hits the Killswitch.  Christian goes to the top rope and uses a Frog Splash for the win.  Decent little match.  Very surprised.  I know Christian can work well because of his time in TNA working with guys like AJ Styles.  He really adapted to their style.  Mahal was actually impressive too.  Pretty good arsenal with decent power moves.  I don’t understand why Christian needs to do a Frog Splash though.  He doesn’t need that in his arsenal.  It doesn’t really make sense for him.  And the move didn’t look that great anyways.  He doesn’t need a new finisher.  The Killswitch is already original and pretty good.

Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix- Kelly is on Maxim’s hot 100 list.  Who cares.  So does that mean shes going to get an in ring push?  Because a magazine has a lot to do with in ring ability.  Beth starts the match with a Thesz Press.  She stomps Kelly, uses a body slam, elbow drop, and knee drop.  That’s a two count.  Layla is watching through a monitor in the back.  Kelly fights back and kicks Beth in the head.  Hurricanrana by Kelly for a two count.  She runs at Beth but is cut off by a clothesline.  Beth pulls her hair and back bumps her with the pull.  Short whip into the corner followed by a missed running splash.  Thesz Press by Kelly followed by a running head scissors.  That sends Beth into the corner.  Kelly goes for her flipping back elbow, but Beth forearms her in the back of the head on the impact.  Spot of the night.  Glam Slam.  1-2-3.  Beth wins.  Thank god.  Not so buried anymore.  They show Layla again like one person actually cares.  Her mother probably doesn’t even want to see her.

Lumberjack Handicap Match: World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus and John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Lord Tensai w/ Vickie Guerrero and Sakamoto- All of the lumberjacks are heels.  Sheamus and Ziggler start.  Tie up.  Back arm drag by Sheamus.  Second tie up.  Front arm drag into a wrist lock.  I don’t see what happens next because they show Laurinaitis come out.  Ziggler hits a dropkick then Sheamus uses a back body drop.  Swagger and Cena are tagged in.  Swagger wrestles Cena to the mat with a waist lock take down.  He show boats with push ups.  Cena comes back with a clothesline.  Time out.  Question.  Why isn’t Cena on fire like he was earlier?  What changed?  Earlier he aggressively ran at Otunga.  Now he’s walking into tie ups?  Doesn’t make any sense for his character to change that quickly in one night.  Moving on.  Tensai is tagged in.  Cena tries to tie up again…..but Tensai back elbows him instead.  I absolutely love that spot.  Tensai pounds him in the corner and tags Swagger.  Swagger goes for a Swagger Bomb, but Cena moves.

Hot tag to Sheamus that really wasn’t worked up.  Sheamus uses clotheslines, a shoulder thrust in the corner, high knee lift, and body slam.  Two count after Ziggler jumps in.  Sheamus throws him over the top to the outside.  The heel lumberjacks don’t touch him.  Tensai comes in as he and Sheamus fire back and forth at one another.  Typical big men battle.  Tensai throws Sheamus to the outside.  Sheamus takes out all of the lumberjacks with punches and a dive off the steps.  Jericho catches him from behind and tosses him back in to Tensai.  Tensai headbutts him and tags Swagger.  Referee distraction results in Ziggler’s illegal interference.  Tag to Tensai, who twists away at Sheamus’ head.  Looks like they are working towards another hot tag.  But this one is actually being built up.  They randomly cut to commercial.  There wasn’t really a commercial spot there that took them to break.  That’s rare.  I like it though.  Doesn’t make it look so pre determined.  I’m not a big fan of commercial spots.

Back from break Swagger has Sheamus in a front headlock.  Sheamus fights out and misses a Brogue Kick.  Swagger counters into an ankle lock, drags Sheamus across the ring, and tags Tensai.  Tensai sends Sheamus head first into the turnbuckle, then hits him with a running splash from behind.  He sends Sheamus to the outside floor.  All of the lumberjacks just stand there and begin to pick Sheamus up like they didn’t know what to do.  These are guys like Reks, Hawkins, O’Neill, Young, and Hunico.  Jericho, who is the only smart one, comes running and attacks Sheamus with punches.  Because that’s the idea behind the match.  When the face is dumped to the floor the heels are supposed to attack.  If your in a real fight and someone you don’t like is on the ground you attack.  You don’t just stand there and pick them up.  Thank god Jericho is brilliant.  He’s the only guy that understood this simple psychology and pounced on the guy.  God he’s good.  All these new rookies aren’t sitting too well in my book so far.

They toss Sheamus back into the ring for him to get stomped by Tensai.  Swagger is tagged in, but Sheamus fights him off with punches.  Swagger uses a drop toe hold and Oklahoma roll to get him back into his corner and avoid the hot tag.  Nicely done.  Ziggler is back in.  Sheamus tries to use a Celtic Cross, but Ziggler rolls out, and takes out the back of his knees.  Fame Asser by Ziggler for a two count.  He hooks the ankle of Sheamus to prevent him from getting to his corner.  They cut back to the ramp again as The Big Show walks out.  So again, I missed Swagger’s spot.  Maybe another Swagger Bomb?  Cole puts over the contract signing happening this morning again.  He’s still trying to cover Laurinaitis’ ass.  Grounded bear hug by Swagger to keep him from the tag.  He works him to the ropes so that Ziggler can kick him in the head.  The action is starting to get boring.  It’s been mediocre so far. Tensai is in again to throw his backside into Sheamus’ head in the corner.  Sheamus fights back with forearms to the side of the head but is cut off with a body slam and leg drop.  Somehow Tensai’s head is busted open.  More quick tags as they all work Sheamus.  Sheamus fights back at all 3 punching them one by one.  Rolling senton from Sheamus onto Swagger.

Hot tag to Cena.  Multiople shoulder blocks followed by an inverted suplex.  The lumberjacks jump on Sheamus.  Cena does a corkscrew suicide dive to the outside onto them.  Not sure if it was supposed to be corkscrew or if he just jumped.  Unfortunately the idiots on the outside were too stupid to look for Cena and he pretty much made him crash and burn.  Only Tyler Reks was looking.  All of the lumberjacks hit the ring.  A bunch of faces come running out.  Guys like CM Punk, Christian, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Santino, Great Khali, Brodus Clay, and more.  Clay and Tensai are brawling on the outside.  Finally!  Cena walks to the back.  He runs into Laurinaitis and asks him where The Big Show is.  He turns around and is hit in the head with the Weapon of Mass Destruction.  Big Show walks off as the show goes off the air.

That was pretty unnecessary.  That all happened too quick.  And now it appears that they are going to make John Cena vs Big Show the highlight of the show.  Instead of making an epic feud with Bryan and Punk the highlight.  Instead of Cena wrestling twice and getting all the emphasis, I would rather see Punk wrestle twice.  Everything is bass ackwards once again.  I really dread watching this stuff.  Raw is awful.  Aside from Bryan and Punk it’s now on TNA level.  It’s that bad.  Absolutely pathetic booking.  For the 3434338535 straight show we don’t see Zack Ryder.  We also don’t see The Miz.  There were a couple of mediocre matches tonight, but TNA also has those.  I officially don’t have any hopes for this show anymore.  I expect it to be bad each week and have come to the conclusion that I’m never going to see what I want to see.

Follow Mark Brown on Twitter @FantasyGodmb.

Let’s remember, the kid is . . . → Read More: Dylan Bundy Doesn’t Belong At Low-A Ball]]> You hear both opinions often, but the Orioles seem to be sticking with their original plan.  Some say that Dylan Bundy should have started the year at AA Bowie, while others think the Orioles should keep on their current track with slowly increasing his workload at a lower level.

Let’s remember, the kid is only 19 years old.

But after seeing Bundy pitch yesterday up in Hagerstown, against a Suns lineup that features a good amount of .300 hitters and a potent offense in the South Atlantic League, I have to take a midpoint between those views.  While I like that Bundy started off with the Delmarva Shorebirds, it’s time for a change.  He needs to be moved up to High-A Frederick.

The original goal, according to reports, was for Bundy to work on his offspeed offerings and really establish a fastball/changeup combo as well as get acclimated to the pro baseball lifestyle.  He’s done all that has been asked of him.  No earned runs and 40 strikeouts (along with only two walks and two hit by pitches) in 30 innings through eight starts is more than enough to prove to me that he has the ability to pitch at a higher level.  Not that the Orioles or any scouts doubt his ability to perform, and I understand the original objectives, but they have been reached.

Bundy pitched five scoreless innings in Hagerstown yesterday, recording four strikeouts and only one hit allowed on all fastballs, minus three pitches.  He threw a curveball for his second strikeout of the afternoon and two noticeable changeups in the middle of other counts, but otherwise, Bundy stuck to his heater.  According to a source with the Shorebirds, he sat 94-98 with his fastball all afternoon and touched 99 on the last pitch of his outing, but otherwise only threw three total offspeed offerings all game.

Watching him on the mound, Bundy doesn’t have all that dominating of an appearance, but his fastball was blowing by batters.  He has a Mark Buehrle-esque pace, which is ideal when hitters are so off balance to begin with, and the only contact being made was pure luck.  Guys were honestly just swinging when they expected they would need to in order to make contact, and Bundy just had to throw the fastball to get guys out.

I still believe in the organization’s ambitions to keep Bundy at a good pace and not to rush things, but seeing Steve Melewski’s report yesterday where he quotes Rick Peterson, Orioles pitching coordinator, saying that Bundy may be close to a promotion, was a good step in my eyes.  The team needs to put him in Frederick and let him air it out there.  He should join other 2011 draft picks Mike Wright, Kyle Simon, and Trent Howard in the Keys’ rotation and work on his pitching there.  Keep him on the same schedule and work on the same aspects of his game, but at least let him develop in a league where he can face competition closer to his level.

There is nothing left for Dylan Bundy to learn at Low-A ball.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia (C, BOS)- He’s on fire right now.  The power potential has always been there, and he shows it pretty . . . → Read More: The Fantasy God’s Week 8 Pickups]]> Not to toot my own horn, but most of the guys on this list each week are really paying off.  So you should listen to it.  Here are some good pickups this week.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia (C, BOS)- He’s on fire right now.  The power potential has always been there, and he shows it pretty consistently.  Don’t expect him to continue to hit for average like he is right now.  He’s not a high average guy.

Jonathan Lucroy (C, MIL)- He peaked for the season on Sunday.  I understand that.  But he should be decent all season long.  He can hit for average, give a little power, and plays in an offense that will continue to improve.  He’s a good fill in while your catcher is out.

Matt Adams (1B, STL)- Super 1B prospect for the Cardinals.  Now that Lance Berkman is out for the season he’s been called up.  Don’t expect him to tear it up right away, but he certainly has upside.  If your in a very deep league you might want to think about him.

Kelly Johnson (2B, TOR)- I like him for the long haul because of the homer mentality in Toronto.  He seems to do something every single day for you.  He can hit homers, he steals bases, and he scores runs.  Don’t expect a high average, because he’s never done that.  But he’s hitting for a better average than normal, and that could stay that way.

Jhonny Peralta (SS, DET)- His last two weeks have been pretty good.  He’s a much better player than he’s shown this year.  I don’t expect him to put up All-Star numbers like he did last year, but he can certainly be serviceable in that hot offense.  That offense is about to explode.

Ian Desmond (SS, WAS)- First of all, he’s going to hurt your average.  He isn’t a great hitter.  But he does have slightly more power than a normal SS does.  Now that he is hitting lower in the order, he has a little more value.  He can hit a homer from time to time, he’s in line to get more RBI’s, and he can steal bases.  Not your ideal starter, but he’s good insurance.

Brian Dozier (SS, MIN)- Good start to his career.  I don’t expect him to contribute all year, but he is right now.  If your looking to stream a middle infielder, he could be your guy.

Raul Ibanez (OF, NYY)- He’s going to have a nice season.  He’s well protected in a very good offense.  His homerun total over the last 10 games have been pretty high.  I expect him to be a normal #3 fantasy OF.  Most of the production right now comes from a hot streak, but he’s still an upgrade to a lot of guys in the league.

Alfonso Soriano (OF, CHC)- He switched his swing up a little bit, and he’s hitting.  He’s putting together a nice string of multi-hit games, which is great for the average.  He’s always had near 30 HR potential, even after he dropped off as an elite player.  He’s worth owning right now.

Delmon Young (OF, DET)- His legal issues are over for the time being, and he’s playing everyday again.  He’s also been hitting #5 behind MCab and Fielder.  That means his RBI total can be extremely high.  I like him over the course of the entire season.  I expect him to hit over .300 with at least 2 HR this week.

Mike Carp (OF, SEA)- He’s back from injury and he’s hitting.  You may not remember, but there was a time last year where he was the #1 fantasy player over an extended amount of time.  This guy is future upper-tier fantasy OF.  He has legit power, and could be a superstar.  Right now he’s still recovering, but he’s playing everyday.  He does however leave late in the games for a defensive replacement.  The healthier he gets, the better he will get.  He could be a difference maker long term.

Felipe Paulino (SP, KC)- What do you mean you didn’t grab him yet?  He shut down the Orioles last week.  And he pitches twice this week.  His K/IP is ridiculous.  Sure he will give up 3-4 runs from time to time, but he will always give you high K’s and will help your ERA most of the time.

Jake Arrieta (SP, BAL)- He’s back.  Excellent start last week.  He had troubles against big offenses like TEX, NYY, and LAA, but that’s okay.  He’s a solid guy for your rotation.

Julio Teheran (SP, ATL)- You knew it was coming eventually.  My favorite young pitcher.  He is dominating AAA.  And he’s one injury away from coming up and staying.  And winning Rookie of the Year in my eyes.  Mike Minor has been terrible.  If he continues to struggle you could see Teheran as early as this weekend.  Grab him when he comes up.

Phil Hughes (SP, NYY)- Two straight quality starts.  The K’s have been decent.  Good offense.  I’d take a chance on him at the bottom of my rotation.

Scott Diamond (SP, MIN)- He was on this list last week.  And he had two more pretty good outings.  Anyone can pitch in that huge park in Minnesota.  Except for Francisco Liriano…

Jeanmar Gomez (SP, CLE)- Quality starts in his last 4 of 5 outings.  He’s capable of being a K/IP.  Pick him up, ride the hot streak, and keep him if the hot streak becoms a consistent season.  That’s the best way to play this game.

Trevor Bauer (SP, ARI)- In his first start at AAA he went 8 IP, 1 ER, 11 K.  Enough said.  He’s going to force his way into the rotation soon.

Predicting when or if Roberts will ever return to the Orioles lineup is as difficult as wrapping your head around  the notion of infinity or comprehending the end of LOST.  But here at BSR we’re . . . → Read More: Brian Roberts Watch: Roberts Within Weeks Of Returning To Orioles]]> May 16, 2011 – The last time Brian Roberts took the field for the Baltimore Orioles.  Exactly 370 days ago.

Predicting when or if Roberts will ever return to the Orioles lineup is as difficult as wrapping your head around  the notion of infinity or comprehending the end of LOST.  But here at BSR we’re watching eagerly and hoping that Brian Roberts will someday soon make a triumphant return.

LATEST UPDATE - May 21, 2012 at 4:04 PM EDT

Per 105.7 The Fan’s Jerry Coleman on the Twitter machine:

Breaking! Brian Roberts just told me he is weeks away from playing. Closer than ever 2 returning to #Orioles

B-Rob Optimism-O-meter

4.5/5 Smiley Brians – “For a long time I wasn’t sure where the finish line was,” Roberts told MASNSports.com’s Steve Melewski. “When you get a glimpse of that it’s nice.”

Roberts told reporters on Monday that he will not report to Sarasota, but will rehab at an affiliate close to home. MLB.com’s Brittany Ghiroli tweets that Bowie is most likely and that Roberts could report within a week.

Me neither.

Sunday in Hagerstown, Bundy pitched five scoreless innings for the Shorebirds and surrendered just one hit.  He struck out four and earned his first win of the season.  South Atlantic League batters are hitting .053 against the Orioles prospect.