The Winter Meetings are over and somehow the Orioles are still looking for that first big move of the offseason. The Baltimorons put together Dan Duquette’s depressing cover of Macklemore’s ‘Thrift Shop’ on their latest episode, “Known Unknowns“.
Listen to the hilarious song below (Disclaimer: It features some adult language), download it here and check out the Baltimorons on the Baltimore Sports Report Network.
I’m gonna pack my bags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
I-I-I’m in the
Meetings of the Winter
This is so depressing
Walk in to the hotel like, “What up, who wants to play for us?”
I’m on the hunt for some players from the thrift shop
Cord Phelps and Brandon Inge, trynna impress James Loney
People be like “Damn! That dude looks lonely.”
Andrew Friedman tellin’ me that he won’t be sellin’ me
David Price when all I’m offerin is Ryan Flaherty
Alone in the corner, nursin’ a coffee
Here comes Shin Soo Choo, I’m gonna offer him a
Whoops, here comes security!
Pushin’ shovin’ elbowin’, trynna get an offer in
Hollerin’ but can’t even get Mark Ellis’s attention
Traded my closer for a reclamation second basemen
Now my all star center fielder’s angry with the situation
Gotta do it Billy Beane style, does anyone know if Billy Beane’s around?
No for real–ask Billy Beane–can I have his hand-me-downs?
Ya mighta heard I’m in on Chad Gaudin
Ya mighta heard I’m in on Bart Colon
PED suspension don’t even warrant mention
Hollerin’ but can’t even get Rajai Davis’s attention
Hello, hello, my ace man, Saunders
Joe Saunders won’t call me back?! Who knows where the bar is?
I could build a pitcher out of soap, and make him throw
The pitching coach would be like, “well, he does have elbows…”
What you know about rockin’ a DH Platoon?
What you know about signing Jake Fox again?
I’m digging, I’m digging, I’m searching right through that shi–er
One man’s trash that’s another man’s leadoff hitter
Thank you Brian Cashman for overpaying Ellsbury
No no, don’t be silly, I’m not filled with hell’s fury
I’m not mad that no player can be had
For less than 20 million dollars in a cashmere bag
Your druggies, your washouts, your quad-A’s, your worst scouts
I’ll take ya rag and bones and I will PAY those motherf—ers
Steve Pearce batting fifth in that motherf—er
Reimold’s bionic neck in that motherf—er
They be like “Yo, that Cano, he’s hella tight”
I be like “Yo, that’s 240 million for a second baseman”
Limited lifespan, let’s run a quick scan
240 million that’s a first-rate scam (damn)
I call that getting swindled and pimped
I call that getting tricked by a business
Cano’s hella dope
You think I’m gonna gamble the future on him though? Nope!
Peep game, come take a look through my Danoscope
Try to buy wins on a scam, and you hella won’t
Man, you hella won’t…
I got no left fielder
No number one starter
I’m in this big hotel
No one’s callin’
What the hell?!