In the spirit of Jimmy the Greek, we’re going to offer you some stone cold locks this football weekend, or, just some spurious guesses based on cursory analysis and casual observation. Either way, this being Baltimore, we thought we’d hear from our favorite wholesale narcotics importer: the man known simply as “The Greek.” 

Greek’s 2011 record ATS: 8-8
See The Greek’s picks for every single game here 

Due to another week of misfortunes for me and my associates, I have had to temporarily leave Baltimore. Today I am making my picks from an undisclosed location in Eurasia. The Greek must wait for things to cool down and get above .500 before returning to the fair city by the bay.

A good businessman knows when to strike, and when to retreat. For now, we lay low, and try and string together some wins. I have Sergei working on a new system, which we are going to try this week. If his formulas and spreadsheets don’t work, I send him to break his own thumbs! On to the picks!

Sergei’s new spreadsheet has a lot of cells that say, #REF, but he swears to me this new system he has is flawless. It’s a little known fact that in addition to being my muscle and my driver, Sergei is a Football Outsiders enthusiast. His best pick this week is Detroit, laying 3 points at Denver. This Tim Tebow angers me, but I do not know why.

I happen to agree with Sergei’s computer on this next pick. I think our friends in Vegas have been using too much of my product. For some reason, they think this “Dream Team” is something to be reckoned with. The Tony Romo may desecrate the field at the last second on Sunday night, but he can keep it within a field goal before pulling a Ziggy. The Greek likes Dallas +3.5 at Philadelphia on Sunday night.

Spiros was right about the Steelers last week, and he hasn’t let me hear the end of it. Him and his silly Roethlisbergos. I must give credit though, New England has a bunch of malakas in their secondary. It doesn’t get much juicier than a home dog who will probably win their division. We like Pittsburgh +3 at home against New England.

Can the Greek say something very briefly? Screw St. Louis. The way they let me down against Dallas next weeks makes me want to drop them into a shipping container and leave them in the stacks at Locust Point. The Greek seeks vengeance. Tell Sam Bradford to sit this one out, too. On Sergei’s spreadsheet, this game has the largest difference in something called “DAVE.” I do not know this DAVE, but he believes that New Orleans can easily lay 13.5 at St. Louis.

You can see the rest of The Greek and Sergei’s excellent business opportunities in his ESPN Pick ‘Em entry, where despite last week’s troubles, he is nipping at the Bill Simmons’ heels and beating Bill Barnwell.

Ya sou!

Dave Gilmore has been through the entire “The Wire” box set more times than he can count. He can be found at @dave_gilmore. One of his fantasy teams is 1-6.