In the spirit of Jimmy the Greek, we’re going to offer you some stone cold locks this football weekend. Or, just some spurious guesses based on cursory analysis and casual observation. Either way, this being Baltimore, we thought we’d hear from our favorite wholesale narcotics importer, the man known simply as, “The Greek.” Of course, he’s “not even Greek.” Please wager responsibly. Or not at all. Greek’s 2011 record ATS: 4-0, Survivor picks: 0-1

Welcome back, friends. You did well to listen to me last week, didn’t you? 4-0 against the spread, with only a mistake in the Unfortunate Accident Pool pick of the Eagles. If they find Andy Reid with no hands and face, it was not us! On to the week 5 picks, which will bring you great fortune.

As I said, we make a sad mistake last week in the Unfortunate Accident Pool picking the Eagles. A good businessman must cut his losses and move on. The best play if you are still “alive” in your pool is clearly New York over Seattle. Even a malaka like that Ziggy could pick such a game. You don’t need The Greek to tell you these things.

My friends here and Baltimore will be pleased to know that the Ravens can find a way to win even on the bye week. I am thinking it is not so menacing and cold at Heinz Field yet, and the Steelers are limping around and injuring themselves like a bunch of Eastern European escorts locked in shipping container. We believe in our friends in Tennessee, who are an excellent value +3 at Pittsburgh. It’s just business, always business. On rare occasions, business is also pleasure.

We do business with Proposition Joe because every day is same as next. Consistent. Dependable. No surprises. Few teams can be trustsed like Prop Joe, and Green Bay is one of them. Even on the road, they are most dangerous. Lay Green Bay -6 at Atlanta with confidence, and enjoy the rare pleasure in business that is the “sure thing.” Few things in this world are so certain.

I tell you last week, this Cam Newton is a good boy who knows good business. Perhaps he is not soo good yet at all the quarterback things, but he can cover a spread like no other. I learned early on in my country betting handball to find your favorite home underdog of the week and play it strongly. Once again, The Greek likes Carolina +6.5 vs. New Orleans. We do not trust these Saints. In our line of work, we learn that no men are saints.

We cannot believe our weary eyes that someone between the Bucs and Niners will be 4-1 when the dust has settled. While we go against the Yosh Freeman last week laying 10 points, we feel much nicer about him receiving a field goal, even on the road, where the Buccaneers know how to handle their business. Not that I would know anything about criminal dealings on the seas, my friend! Take the points and Tampa Bay, +3 at San Francisco.

Ya sou!

 

Dave Gilmore has been through the entire “The Wire” box set more times than he can count. He can be found at @dave_gilmore, where you can sign up for his “Scenes from ‘The Wire'” Walking Tour of Baltimore. Not really. Maybe someday.