In the spirit of Jimmy the Greek, we’re going to offer you some stone cold locks this football weekend. Or, just some spurious guesses based on cursory analysis and casual observation. Either way, this being Baltimore, we thought we’d hear from our favorite wholesale narcotics importer, the man known simply as, “The Greek.” 

Greek’s 2011 record ATS: 7-5

Greetings friends. Last week, as you see, my associates and I suffered greatly. Those responsible for our bad information have been dealt with. Do not cry for them, it’s business. Always business. This week, we are vowing revenge on our friends in Las Vegas. No more funny business. On to the picks.

Anything less than double-digits is great value when talking about these Packers of Green Bay. In these dark times, you need men you can rely on. Until they prove us otherwise, we continue to trust the Packers. Even on the road in Minnesota. Johnny 50 from down at the docks could be calling the plays for the Vikings this week, it would make no difference. Lay the Packers at 9 points to Minnesota. I sleep better at night knowing I have a nickel-plated revolver on my night stand and the Packers on my side of the sheet.

If you’re going to pick a road favorite from last year’s Super Bowl against a crappy team, why not pick two of them? We learned our lesson in Week 5 about going against these Steelers. My associates and I think they will make it up to me this week and cover. Spiros is a big Steelers fan, not that that should surprise you. Okay, okay, Spiros. We’ll lay 4 points and the Steelers on the road at Arizona. If Big Boy Ben can’t be relied upon, I will make him remember next time he comes through Baltimore. The Greek always remembers.

As much as we want to believe in the Yosh Freeman, he has screwed us two weeks in a row. For now, he cannot be trusted. If you must, take the Buccaneers +1 in London, but you didn’t hear that from The Greek. This is not one of my official business opportunities for the week.

It pleases us to make this pick. The streak of bad Monday Night Football games will stretch to 7, and our Baltimore Ravens will blow out the Jaguars. Vengeance on those bookmakers will be extra sweet. Lay the 8 points and watch the Ravens run all over Jacksonville. Oh and if anyone from the Ravens is reading my picks and wants a deal on imported footballing supplies and concessions, you know where to find me. Or do you? Forget I said anything.

Here is my daring business opportunity of the week for only the businessmen of great fortitude. What do we know of these Dallas Cowboys? All five of their games, of which they’ve won only two, have been decided by less than a touchdown. Do I trust the Rams? Not as far as I can throw Brandon Lloyd, which is pretty good, considering my age. Young Sam Bradford is going to play, we think. If not, we will see A.J. Feeley, who is not good by any means, but is a veteran and can keep the game simple. Either way, the Rams can keep it respectable and maybe even get their first win. Take the 13 points and the Rams in Dallas.

Ya sou!

Dave Gilmore has been through the entire “The Wire” box set more times than he can count. He can be found at @dave_gilmore. He has already been eliminated from his survivor pool, in which he had five picks.