Now everybody just chill out and listen for a sec. I’m not a proponent of changing the name of Oriole Park at Camden Yards and there’s been absolutely no indication that it will ever even happen. Back in 2000, there was a story that ran on that said the O’s were considering selling the naming rights to the stadium. After a little Googling, I’ve seen nothing since.

Last week, the Rangers sold the naming rights to the Ballpark at Arlington. Going forward it will be known as Globe Life Park in Arlington.

Lame. Sellouts.

But if you look at the list of Major League Baseball stadiums, less than a third have non-corporate names (Angel Stadium, Dodger Stadium, Fenway Park, Kauffman Stadium, Marlins Park, Nationals Park, Oriole Park at Camden Yards and Yankee Stadium). Some of those other 22 stadiums don’t sound too terrible either (Wrigley Field, Busch Stadium, Coors Field, Miller Park).

So I figured that since the team has done nothing of note this offseason and we’re all starved for baseball, let’s talk about which sponsors could potentially fit in Baltimore:

5. Esskay Park at Camden Yards

Esskay Hotdogs - Oriole Park at Camden Yards

You guys, Esskay was there for the Ripken years. Hot dogs and baseball are synonymous — especially now that we’re putting crab and macaroni and cheese on them. When you think hot dogs at OPACY, you think Esskay. The swinging bird is on the package and there’s that seamless billboard that’s been there forever in right field. It just works.

4. Domino Sugar Stadium at Camden Yards

Domino Sugars - Oriole Park at Camden Yards

The Domino Sugar sign that overlooks the inner harbor is as much of a landmark in Baltimore as our beloved stadium. Putting that logo on the warehouse wouldn’t be so bad, would it? I could support Domino Sugar becoming the sponsor of Camden Yards.

3. Old Bay Ballpark

Old Bay - Oriole Park at Camden Yards

You’re already dumping this stuff on crabs, french fries, wings, popcorn, potato chips, Bloody Marys and breakfast cereal. Why not name the freaking Yard after it? No one understands Old Bay like we do in Baltimore. It’s uniquely our thing.

2. National Bohemian Yard

Natty Boh - Oriole Park at Camden Yards

Ignoring the fact that Natty Boh is no longer brewed in Baltimore and is now owned by the Pabst Brewing Company, people in Baltimore (myself included) take pride in our cheap beer. National Bohemian became the “official” beer of the O’s in the late 1960’s and has “From the Land of Pleasant Living” printed on the can. We love this stuff in Baltimore.

1. Under Armour Stadium

Under Armour - Baltimore

Okay. This one is not only the most realistic (from a financial standpoint), but also the one I’m most excited about. Under Armour is Baltimore. Kevin Plank went to the University of Maryland, the company is based here and makes Baltimore specific gear. Could you imagine the glowing UA on the Warehouse? I sure can.

Sure, most of these are very unrealistic and I personally don’t think we’ll ever see the O’s sell the naming rights to Camden Yards. But it’s fun to wonder, right?

Which one is your favorite?

Image Credits: Kathleen Tyler Conklin, Steve Snodgrass, Vox Efx