It’s been a tumultuous offseason. After much pulling of hair and gnashing of teeth, we’ve arrived at the beginning of another season of Orioles baseball. This means three things:

  2. That we can once again put our voodoo doll of Brian Cashmen’s enormous wallet back on the shelf
  3. It’s time for the annual Baltimorons Nickname Episode (TM)!

The past two years, Sam and Alan have gone down the list of everyone on the active roster, giving each player what we thought would be the most appropriate nickname given our (sometimes very low) knowledge of that individual.

Last year’s list had some winners:

  • Brian Matusz
    “Matuszfaction” or “Mad Matz”
  • Chris Davis
    “The Witness” or “The Bible Belter” (h/t J. Adams)
Some Losers:
  • Jake Arrieta
    “He Of The Everlovin’ Purty Brown Eyes” or “Mission: Chinpossible”
  • Brian Roberts
    “Papa Bird” or “Strobe”
And some nicknames that neither Sam nor Alan can remember the creation of:
  • Alexi Casilla
    “Bupkis” or “Lexipro”
  • Chris Tillman
    “Jethro Till,” “Tums”

This year, however, we’d like to hear your favorite nicknames for your favorite Orioles.  Tweet us (@bmorons), Email us (,) or leave us a voicemail at 909-RIB-WARS (909-742-9277) with your must-scream-at-the-tv-either-in-exhilaration-or-frustration best.

What you got, Birdland?