Major League Baseball is back in full swing (did you miss it?) and the Orioles and Red Sox suspensions have been issued. As you’d expect, MLB’s disciplinary actions were just as ridiculous as the incident itself.

To summarize, David Ortiz, who started the entire incident on an inside pitch, got four games along with Kevin Gregg. Mike Gonzalez got three games for throwing at Ortiz on Sunday after warnings had been issued to both teams, though the Orioles hadn’t hit anyone and had two of their players hit. Buck Showalter got one game for ordering Gonzo go hit Ortiz, which is ridiculous because the Orioles had been getting plunked all series. Jim Johnson and Jarrod Saltalamacchia were fined and John Lackey, who hit Markakis without a warning and Derrek Lee, was disciplined.

To summarize, Boston players started a fight on a pitch that never hit one of their players, then threw at the Orioles the next day, which caused warnings for Baltimore and when the Orioles finally retaliated their manager and relief pitcher get suspended. Absolutely laughable.

And what about Josh Beckett’s comments after the fight? “But if it’s just because we scored eight runs in the first inning and they’re going to throw at our [expletive] guys, it’s going to be a long year,” Beckett said. Sounds an awful lot like a threat and he didn’t even receive the slap on the wrist that Lackey got.

What a joke.