“Come my people and shut thy doors about thee. For powers shall come to punish the meek for their inequities. For on the second day of 2012 a familiar force shall arrive to claim what is his. And it will be the end of the world as you know it.” “It begins 2012”. Six weeks ago this cryptic video appeared on YouTube while it’s link faded in and out of a “Now Trending” Twitter box on Monday Night Raw. Five more cryptic videos would air on both YouTube and on television following this revolutionary Social Media concept. The second day of 2012 has finally arrived and the man behind the cryptic videos will appear! This is easily one of the most anticipated Raw’s in recent history.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results 1/2/12

The show begins with John Cena.  He comes out of the entrance way and shouts “This is Jerry Lawler country.”  Raw is live in the hometown of Jerry “The King” Lawler Memphis, Tennessee.  Cena talks about his New Year’s Resolutions.  The first is to wear less underwear.  The women in the crowd cheer.  The second is to never let his dad on WWE TV again following the “Cena This Is Your Life” segment weeks back.  The third is to beat The Rock at Wrestlemania.  Cena says he will remain who he is and that his convictions will hold true.  This is either him telling the people that he will not turn heel or is building his heel turn even more.  I said weeks back that it makes no sense for him to turn heel, and I still believe that.  He can already wrestle faces and heels because half the people cheer him and half the people boo him.  He is already a heel towards those he needs to be a heel towards.  If Cena turns his back on the fans it goes against everything he’s ever stood for from “hustle, loyalty, respect” to “rise above hate.”  Cena says he will enjoy any emotional response that he gets from the crowd.  Just then the lights go out, Kane’s music hits, and we hear his voice.  He is not seen, just heard.  The arena stays red during his promo.  Kane says Cena will embrace the hate tonight.  Then the ring pyro explodes.

The video fades out and we see the little boy and the little girl from the cryptic videos.  The little boy is shaking his head and the little girl is smiling.  We see a full screen that says “The End Begins Tonight.”

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes- Nice opening match!  They hype the Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show match and the Cody Rhodes vs. Booker T match on Smackdown this Friday.  Cody Rhodes takes early control with punches.  Bryan counters in the corner and hits vicious kicks.  He charges Rhodes but gets a boot to the face.  Rhodes targets the arm of Bryan and slams it into the mat multiple times.  To me it looks as if Cody Rhodes wants to have a nice psychological and technical match with Bryan so he uses the oldest of psychologies…working the arm.  It’s either that or have Bryan carry him the entire match.  He can’t compete with Bryan’s skills so I’m fine with the strategy.  He really has no true reason to work the arm because he has no arm finishers or submissions in his arsenal.  Bryan eventually counters the arm holds and tosses Rhodes to the outside.  He hits a running knee smash off the apron.  He misses off the top rope and is tossed into the turnbuckle face first.  Rhodes uses the Beautiful Disaster springboard kick to the face.  He then uses a front suplex on Bryan.  Rhodes goes for a second front suplex but Bryan counters it into a small package for the win.  Bryan celebrates after the match and immediately runs over to Michael Cole to rub it in his face again.  I love Daniel Bryan’s smart ass attitude lately.  It’s hilarious.  He’s been taunting the Big Show on Smackdown and taunting Michael Cole after every match.  Daniel Bryan stands at the end of the ramp and yells “yes yes yes” very sarcastically.  Love it.

In the back John Laurinaitis is talking with The Miz.  He tells Miz that what R-Truth did last week was inappropriate and that he will take action.  The Miz gets angry that that’s the only thing Laurinaitis is going to do.  Laurinaitis shows him the video of him attacking R-Truth weeks ago on Raw.  He asks Miz if that video rings a bell.  Miz says “no.”  Again pretty funny.  The Miz says he will be a sitting duck out there.  Laurinaitis says “that’s better than being a lame duck” and smiles.  AGAIN pretty funny.  These stupid jokes are great tonight.  But here comes the best one yet….The Miz walks out of the office and through the back angry.  R-Truth appears from around the corner, walks up to the camera, waves his arms, and quacks like a duck!  I’m going to love R-Truth as a face.  The people are really going to get behind his crazy man gimmick.  “The End Begins Tonight” and Daniel Bryan are officially trending world wide on Twitter.

In preparation of the next Pay Per View Royal Rumble, we see a highlight video from 1988 where Hacksaw Jim Duggan won the inaugural event.  I personally love the Royal Rumble and consider it my specialty in wrestling trivia.  Early prediction to win it this year?  Sheamus.

Wade Barrett makes his way down to the ring.  The highlights from Barrett’s match with Randy Orton from Smackdown are shown.  Orton was thrown down the steps in a storyline to write off a real life injury that he is suffering from.  Early indications were that Orton would miss six months, but now it’s looking like it could be less.  I don’t want Orton to miss Wrestlemania.  Barrett talks about how he didn’t want to throw Orton down the stairs, but it was either Orton or himself that would have been.  Barrett says he will win the Royal Rumble.  Santino’s music hits and he runs around the ring with his cobra glove.  Santino asks him who lasted longer in the Rumble last year, Barrett or Santino?  He says eeenntt time’s up.  It was me stupido.  Santino’s act is getting a little stale for me.  And I hate to say that because I like him.

Wade Barreet vs. Santino Marella- Marella boxes away at the gut of Barrett mocking his bare knuckle fighting background.  Barrett punches back, but Santino does a split.  Barrett big boots his face while he is down in the split.  From there he tosses Santino in the corner and pounds away at him.  Santino counters one punch and goes for the Cobra.  Barrett hits a back kick to the jaw to counter it.  He picks Santino up and hits The Winds of Change for the win.

The Miz is in the back with The Bella Twins.  The Bella’s are arguing with each other as usual.  The Miz is looking around and asks them if they’ve seen R-Truth.  They said no, but they saw Little Jimmy.  They laugh.  Is that an inappropriate joke?  Miz says he is glad Alberto Del Rio got hurt.  Miz walks away.  R-Truth walks up to the camera again and whispers shhhhh.  I liked the duck thing, but I like the multiple segments even more.  What a great idea.  It’s like Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.  Highly entertaining.  The most entertaining show on television by far.  Santino and Wade Barrett are officially trending on Twitter.

Sheamus vs. The Miz-  Miz walks down the ramp looking around and being paranoid.  Miz jumps in the ring and attacks Sheamus with a spear.  He attempts to tie Sheamus up, but the great white gets out.  Miz tries to flee the ring, but Sheamus catches him on the apron, ties his arms up, and pounds his chest from the inside of the ring.  The Miz gets free and jumps over the barricade.  The match never officially started and it’s now over.  R-Truth’s voice is heard.  He is in the crowd.  He say’s guess who I ran into?  Little Jimmy.  Little Jimmy doesn’t like you.  Little Jimmy says you need to get got.  Hilarious.  Loving R-Truth.  The Miz runs away from R-Truth and hops back over the barricade only to be hit with a Brogue Kick by Sheamus.  R-Truth hops the barricade, grabs a bottle of water, and smashes it across The Miz’s head.  R-Truth says “this weakly Miz beat down is brought to you by Little Jimmy, where you will get got.”  He asks Little Jimmy what he thinks about that and a kid says “happy New Year’s Miz.”  As I said before, the fans are going to love R-Truth as a face.  His crazy man gimmick might be the funniest gimmick I’ve ever seen in professional wrestling.  I can see R-Truth as a face actually becoming a world champion in the future.  And just like that R-Truth is trending world wide on Twitter.  Also trending on Twitter, Sheamus, The Miz, and Little Jimmy.  People on Twitter are calling him The Phantom of the Opera, a zombie from the Thriller video, the least scary stalker ever, and want to buy official R-Truth water bottles.

In the back Josh Mathews interviews Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler is doing a head stand.  He says he already pinned the WWE Champion last week and will win the championship tonight.  He continues on with one of his fast talking promos that I don’t think I’ve seen yet on Raw.  He mostly only cuts them on Zack Ryder’s YouTube show Z! True Long Island Story.  Ziggler walks off and say’s “later.”  I really like the “later mark” line he uses on the web show.  I guess WWE won’t allow him to say “later mark” because a wrestling “mark” is an inside term for a wrestling fan who cheers for the status quo.  I’m surprised they even let him put #heel on his tights seeing how “heel” is also an insider term.  Anyways, Dolph Ziggler may have the best mic skills in the entire company (minus CM Punk.)  He has improved 1 million percent in the last year and has arrived as a true superstar.  He is a modern day Mr. Perfect.

Zack Ryder is talking to Eve Torres.  Jack Swagger comes up and says there is an impostor walking around with the US Championship.  Zack says “what someone swiped my US Title?”  Eve has to tell him that that isn’t what he meant.  Ryder says “just because both of our names end in -er doesn’t mean I won’t send you to the er.”  Swagger says he will take Ryder’s girlfriend and US Championship.  They argue and John Laurinaitis walks in to separate them.  He makes a 6 man tag team match featuring Ryder, Big Show, and John Cena vs. Swagger, Kane, and Mark Henry.  Ryder doesn’t usually make dumb jokes like that.  I didn’t really think that was his character.   At no point in the past has he ever really played an air head.  When you think about it, the way that he got himself over with Social Media shows genius.  So I don’t think the air head thing really fits him.  Regardless I’m still a Ryder fan for life.

WWE Championship Match: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero- It’s been awhile since we’ve seen a world championship match on Raw.  Tie up to start.  Punk rolls through with a couple of mat pins.  2 counts on them all.  They continue to chain wrestle as Ziggler counters a hold into a pinning predicament.  They both get to their feet and Punk attacks the mid section of Ziggler with knees, followed by a back breaker.  Ziggler pushes Punk into the corner and hits some shoulder thrusts.  He goes for his leaping elbow drop, but Punk moves.  Punk uses a body slam and multiple quick leg drops.  I counted 5 of them.  I love it.  It results in a near fall, so Punk uses a chin lock to slow down the pace.  Ziggler shoots him off the ropes, but Punk has the momentum and uses the shoulder block.  Punk bounces off the ropes again and Ziggler botches a spot.  He’s supposed to snake eye Punk off the ropes, but he misses the ropes, and Punk crashes into the mat.  It was obviously a timing mistake by Ziggler.  Ziggler uses his own chin lock, but Punk fights out.  Punk hits a stiff kick to the gut that sends Ziggler flying out of the ring.  Probably a little pay back from botching that spot, because it was very stiff.  Punk runs off the ropes for a suicide dive, but Ziggler hits an enzuguri kick from the outside.  That’s a move I haven’t seen Ziggler use since his debut days on Raw.  I’ve wanted to see him do that for so long.  I really like that move.  Glad he pulled it out for his big championship match.  Ziggler guillotines Punk’s face off the ropes.  Commercial break.  Booooo.  Back from break both guys are fighting from their knees gaining momentum.  Ziggler hits a quick sleeper, but Punk drops him on the back of his head.  Irish Whip and a single leg dropkick by Punk.  Punk charges Ziggler in the corner, but Ziggler uppercuts him.  Ziggler charges Punk, but Punk hits a snap power slam.  Both men counter the others roll ups for near falls.  Ziggler uses the Famer Asser for a two count.  Splash in the corner by Ziggler followed by a nice reverse T-Bone Suplex.  Ziggler goes for another sleeper, but Punk throws him off and into the corner.  Patented running knee and bulldog by Punk.  Punk signals the Go To Sleep as John Laurinaitis makes his way down the ramp.  Laurinaitis distracts the referee as Punk uses the Anaconda Vice.  Dolph Ziggler taps out, but the referee’s back is turned.  Ziggler charges Punk from behind, but Punk moves, and Ziggler crashes into Laurinaitis.  Punk goes for the GTS, but Ziggler uses his elbows to get out.  He throws Punk into the ropes, but Laurinaitis holds the top rope down causing Punk to crash to the outside.  Punk gets counted out.  Ziggler wins.  Of course the championship does not change hands on a count out, so Punk is still champion.  Ziggler grabs the WWE Championship and celebrates as if he’s champion.  Punk chases him into the crowd.  Nice match.  Even the botched spot was pretty sick and really added towards the match.  I’m looking forward to seeing more from these two in the future.

The video then warps and we see the cryptic video couple again.  A full screen reads “He is here.”

Another Royal Rumble highlight video airs.  This one is from 1995 and shows Shawn Michaels and The British Bulldog being the first 2 entrants in the Rumble, and lasting to be the final 2 guys left.  My favorite Rumble match ever.

The Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres- Kelly starts the match with hard chops to Brie Bella.  She then does the stink face.  Brie counters and tags Nikki.  Nikki uses a chin lock but Kelly uses a jaw breaker to counter.  Kelly tags Eve who uses a series of single leg drop kicks.  Eve does that stupid dance, but instead of using the moonsault, she dropkicks Brie off the apron.  Then she takes out Nikki and uses a moonsault off the top rope.  Brie breaks up the near fall.  Kelly runs in to attack Brie but the referee holds her back.  The Bella’s use the switch-a-roo as Brie takes Nikki’s spot and lays on the mat.  When Eve tries to pick Brie up she’s caught in a small package for the 3 count.  The Bellas win.

In the back John Laurinaitis and David Otunga are talking.  CM Punk barges in angrily.  He says Laurinaitis tried to cost him the WWE Championship.  Laurinaitis says Punk will defend his title at the Royal Rumble against Dolph Ziggler and that Laurinaitis himself will be the special guest referee.  Punk says that if Laurinaitis screws him out of the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble that Punk will go to jail for animal cruelty.  Because he’s going to beat Laurinaitis like a bitch.  Haha.  Risque.  They need to drop the PG rating anyways.  “He is Here” is officially the #1 trend world wide on Twitter.

The cryptic video breaks into the video.  “You have brought this upon yourself.  A familiar force shall arrive to claim what is his.  She holds the mystery of my rebirth.  But when I beckon her I will return to claim what is mine.  She has spoken.  It is time.  The end of the world as you know it is here.   Now!”  The lights go out.  They stay out for awhile.  We see blue lights on a jacket with arms stretched out.  Fire works go off.  Break the Walls Down!!!!  It’s Chris Jericho!!!  This guy is extremely happy.  The crowd chants “Y2J.”  Jericho runs around the ring high fiving fans for a few minutes.  The crowd chants “welcome back.”  Jericho rattles up the crowd for awhile by yelling “come on” and running up and down each turnbuckle.  #Y2J is currently the #1 trend in the world on Twitter.  #BreakTheWallsDown is also Trending.  Jericho takes turns making both sides of the arena cheer.  This is a very long introduction before he finally goes to speak.  He acts like he’s going to speak, but then drops the mic and chants “yea yea yea” again.  He runs around the outside again doing high fives.  Then he grabs ahold of a camera and sticks his face in it.  At this point I’m kinda confused.  Jericho seems to be making a mockery out of this.  He stands at the top of the ramp and smiles.  People start to boo because he didn’t say anything.  He keeps smiling then goes to the back.  Everyone is confused in the audience and boos.  That’s it!  It began!  The cryptic videos are over.  I know your all confused so let me explain.  Was Jericho drunk? No.  Was he high?  No.  It was a mockery.  Jericho is a heel.  He is an ass.  That’s why he’s great.  This it begins 2012 thing blew up to be bigger than anyone in the WWE could imagine.  A lot of people, including myself, figured it out.  So they have been tweeting Jericho all day and all week about the angle.  He went as far as to post fake pictures of himself in front of monuments and events to downplay that he wasn’t at Raw tonight.  He posted pictures of himself today in Gettysburg, at The Winter Classic in Philadelphia, and even Kim Jong Il’s funeral.  He spent so much time downplaying that it wasn’t him that when he debuted he acted like all the fans were.  Everyone, including myself, were super excited to see Jericho.  He simply made a mockery of the whole situation, cheered himself like a fan would, laughed about it, and left.  A truly epic end to an epic Social Media storyline.  Jericho is a heel people.  He gets a rise out of angering people.  Truly one of the greatest ever.  I love it.  And I can’t wait to see Jericho each and every week.

John Cena, The Big Show, and US Champion Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, and Kane-  Kane’s music plays but he doesn’t come out.  David Otunga comes out to tell the referee that Kane isn’t participating and that the match is now a handicap match.  Tie up to start from Cena and Swagger.  Cena takes control with a hip toss, body slam, and elbow drop.  Swagger takes us to commercial by kicking Cena in the face.  Back from commercial it’s still Cena and Swagger.  Swagger has Cena in a front headlock.  Cena uses his power to back bump Swagger.  Tag to the The Big Show results in multiple clotheslines.  Huge smash in the corner and body block by the giant.  Mark Henry is tagged in.  He and Big Show stand face to face and yell at each other.  Henry strikes first, but Big how gets control with headbutts.  He launches his entire 7 foot body at Mark Henry to knock him to the outside.  Henry grabs a chair on the outside, but The Big Show follows him and punches it out of his hand.  Big how picks up the chair and hits Henry with it.  Both he and Henry have been disqualified.  Back in the ring Ryder hits The Broski Boot on Swagger.  he goes for the Rough Ryder, but Swagger counters it into an ankle lock.  Ryder makes it to Cena and tags him in.  Cena comes in ferociously with clotheslines, shoulder blocks, the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, and the AA for the win.  Cena and Ryder win.  Wait…what???? This wasn’t an elimination match so how were 2 members of the match eliminated and not the rest?  If a DQ happens then the whole match is thrown out by rule.  That made no sense whatsoever.  You can’t just make up your own set of rules to get Big Show and Henry out of the ring.  Anyways, with Cena and Ryder in the ring an explosion happens.  Kane’s music hits.  Cena jumps out of the ring and runs up the ramp.  Kane come out from a hole in the ring and uppercuts Zack Ryder.  Cena runs back down the ramp but Kane catches him with a big boot.  He uses the weird face grab on Cena to knock him unconscious.  Then Kane goes back into the ring and grabs Ryder.  He attempts to drag Ryder back down through the hole, but Cena saves him.  After Cena saves Ryder the hole explodes with a huge fire ball.  The look on Ryder’s face is absolutely hilarious.  So it looks like Kane was trying to drag Ryder to hell!  Cena saved his life!  What a hero!  This should be a national news headline!  A man was almost blown up!  Pretty far fetched and funny.  Entertaining though. Kane, Ryder, and Hornswoggle (?) are trending world wide on Twitter.

Great show.  So happy to see Jericho.  Loved his “promo.”  Great championship match.  Nice little “evil” spot at the end of the show.  At least it was original.  Can’t wait for next week.

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