If you thought Kegasus was great (no one did) than you’re going to love this year’s Preakness mascots.

Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post was sent a fake press release about the obnoxious ads that Marylanders should expect to hear over the next few weeks in a continued effort to promote the Preakness.  In summary, Kegasus has gone missing and two mythical creatures, the Leprechaun and the Easter Bunny, have stepped in to replace him.

Both mascots have their own Facebook pages and each have unique slogans and stories.  The Easter Bunny’s page says that she used to be “a hot mess” and was “sniffing glitter glue” before looking the become the new Lord of the IndfieldFest.  The Leprechaun calls himself “tall where it counts” and says he gained six pounds while on “The Smallest Loser” and failed on “Riverdancing with the Stars.”

I guess these ads work because here I am blabbering about them, but man is it embarrassing that this is what it’s come to in order to promote the Preakness Stakes.  I’ll have to keep local radio and TV turned off for a while because the Kegasus commercials last year made me want to jam scissors into my ears.

Don’t worry, I didn’t.  I can still hear that Kegasus jingle.