Growing a beard is a guy’s way of telling the world, “I’m a man, I’m tough and I’m too lazy too shave on a regular basis.” Well, this isn’t quite the case for all guys because every guy has their own reasons for letting their facial hair grow to the point of no return. But I’d be willing to bet most guys do it for one or all of the reasons above. What brings me to this meaningless but interesting subject is a story I saw about the Steelers’ Brett Keisel and the outlandish growth coming from his face. I’ve noticed it for a while now, but have rarely seen what it has to offer when not restricted by a facemask. After looking over the up-close and personal photos of the creature, it got me thinking about some other athletes that have had or do have notable beards.
This has to be the biggest, bushiest, ugliest, most out of control beard I’ve ever seen. There is no continuity to it whatsoever. It features about six different shades and seems as if every strand of hair protruding from his face is a different length. The beard even has its own Facebook page with Keisel’s ugly mug as the profile picture. He said he can’t even eat a meal anymore without getting food stuck in it. Let’s just hope he shaves it after Sunday night’s game because that would have to mean the Steelers were eliminated from the playoffs.
I’m pretty sure there could be a small country nestled under Slice’s massive beard and nobody would even know it. Slice is an intimidating-looking guy to begin with, but when you add that black bush on his face it makes me scared to even look at him. It is kind of interesting to think about what he would look like without one, but I’m sure as hell not getting close enough to him to ask him to shave it.
Sidney Crosby – Underdeveloped
I’m not really sure if I consider this a beard because of the patchy and boy-like nature of it, but anytime I can take a cheap shot at Crosby I’m going to jump on it. It’s hard to knock the guy as a player because he’s won a Stanley Cup and an Olympic gold medal. But it’s really easy to poke fun at him for his measly attempt at growing manly facial hair.
Well, can you see his lips? Yeah, me either.
Mike Commodore – Head/Facial Combo
This one was a no-brainer. Look how the curly red afro matches his fiery beard perfectly. It’s like Carrot Top stuck his finger in a socket and decided to forgo shaving for a month. It’s brilliant and scary at the same time.
During the San Francisco Giants’ World Series run last year, Wilson’s jet black beard became one of the most imitated facial features I have seen since Jay Leno’s cartoon-like chin. Almost every person in AT&T Park wore their own version of the beard and I’m sure it was one of the more popular Halloween costumes too. What gives Wilson’s … iconic status is the impact it had on his opponent on one of the biggest stages in sports. Fear the beard!
Lanny McDonald – Straight out of a scary movie
Just look at the picture. Now read the caption again. Need I say more?
Submitted by Steve Giles
Where is Flacco on this list…..
Not on it. And for a good reason. 🙂
a solid beard is awesome. I mean no shave november was made for a reason. for those still developing (cough cough sidney crosby) it can be rough.
for basketball, some amazing beards include James Harden of the Oklahoma City Thunder and Jacob Pullen of the K State Wildcats. If you wanna kick it old school, check out the James Worthy beard.
For those of you locals who have lived here for years and know the great Baltimore area softball teams there is one guy in the 80’s who played for “Angle Inn Doghouse” and had the best beard ever while playing softball…
Bobby “Boffo” Forsyth…
His game wasn’t the best but the beard was the best…
Anyone remember him?
Sure…His shirt read "The Hammer" on the back….he wore the Bike coaches shorts with the compression shorts underneath. Used to trot around the bases after a dinger saying "I see hiney". Was an awesome ballplayer.
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