At this moment, you are caught up in the National Football League’s most dramatic, overhyped, prime time extravaganza on television, the 75th NFL Draft. This season, the NFL aimed to stretch their few minutes of actual content into an extra day, making this unnecessary waste of television air ways stretch to three evenings of broadcast. That’s one more day of mindless dribble while attempting to fill time between picks, one more day of Roger Goodell mispronouncing draft pick’s names and, yes, one more day the hair, Mel Kiper, Jr. taking offense to professional teams picking against his projected order.
I surprise a lot of people when I express my opinion on the draft. It’s not that I’m not excited to learn about the Ravens newest additions or research their acquisitions and signings, I just hate the cloud of coverage that encompasses the part of the draft I enjoy.
What I don’t need in the draft is what most NFL fans eat by the spoonful. The speculation, predictions and mock drafts drive me absolutely crazy. I think we did it right on BSR, we gave you the Ravens needs, looked around the division and briefly talked with a football expert to get his thoughts on the Ravens needs going into the draft.
If you are fueling the fire by choosing to tune into the NFL Network or the World-Wide leader at any point this weekend then shame on you for letting this spectacle continue. I don’t know how you deal with it. The gap between picks is never filled with quality content and comes off as a poorly produced television product. The only reason I could accept to tune in is to watch Mel Kiper continue to get aggravated when his draft board is destroyed.
Rather than creating a mock draft, I would prefer to create a pool predicting Kiper’s boiling point. And don’t defend him because he’s a local guy. There are lots of local guys that I don’t like, a la Bill Belichick.
The Ravens have a few holes in their roster and I look forward to seeing how they will address them through the NFL draft. We’ll report about them on BSR, break them down from every possible angle, discuss the guys, argue about the guys and move forward. I just don’t feel the need to waste three nights of my life watching the Raiders take a young college graduate with hopes and dreams of a life in professional football and pull him into the black hole of NFL careers.
So if anyone else is around I suggest we hijack Zach's fun-hating thread and talk exhaustively about the draft as it happens.
Anyone else in?
Go for it. I'm in Bowie…but keep me posted on the latest happenings from Radio City.
Close game there? Who is mashing it tonight?
7-0 Baysox. This team can play. Joseph has two hits, one is an RBI 2b.
Boneless wing night? Dean Jones Jr? A perfect night?
And it looks like I'm gonna watch a win!
5 minutes from the Rams officially being on the clock. I think I'm the only one here, but I will soldier on, damnit.
New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock tonight…don't waste your time watching the Rams drag in a QB in to solve their problems. 6 wins in two years right?
Hulu. Gotta spread the good stuff out to get through the week.
Yeah…I've been waiting for new episodes!
I have no reasons for this, but I think Baltimore takes Terrence Cody.
Steelers: Never good when your two key offseason additions are guys who have already been on your team (Leftwich, Randle El).
Also never good when your quarterback can't help but wag his pickle at co-eds, for the record.
(Still Dave, just logged in now).
Football Thought: It's so stupid that St. Louis is basically held financial hostage by a quarterback who looks like he could be in the third Twilight movie.
Random Thought: I lived in NYC and the only time I went to Radio City Music Hall was for the largest taping of Celebrity Jeopardy of all time.
I'd say those are both random thoughts. I saw the Rockettes Christmas show last year. Radio City is pretty awesome.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Steven Jackson for sucking so bad in fantasy football last year. Make your pick St. Louis, so we can laugh at it (unless they take Suh like they should).
Alright Bradford goes #1. Looks like the NFL has added the team lapel pin to the jersey and hat over the suit combo. This is prime time!
And here's a rare opportunity for Detroit to not screw up. No-brainer with Suh. Thankfully there are no overhyped wide receivers available.
By overhyped wr's, do you mean Oakland Raiders?
I just feel bad for D H-B. Why did he have to run so fast?!
Yup, he's exactly who I'm talking about.
Wait a second, Gerald McCoy is unemployed for another few minutes. How the hell does he afford a watch that…oh…right…
A Boy Named Suh. "My name is Suh, how do you do!? Now you gonna die!"
If I were Ndamukong Suh I would listen to that song every single morning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M89c3hWx3RQ
2/2 on my Mock Draft so far. Suck it, McShay.
Kiper must still be in a good mood then. That's good for everyone watching.
Kiper is always good for everyone watching, regardless of his mood. That dude will be doing the 2054 Draft.
Looks like McCoy to Tampa. I hate when they show the guy on the phone all smiling before the pick is announced. How about a "Spoiler Alert," ESPN?
I should've complained about that in my post.
Gerald McCoy looks freakin' TRIM for a 3-technique DT. Listed at 295, looks about 225.
Skins could take Okung and fill a need at OT, or do something incredibly crazy.
I'm really hoping the latter happens.
Goodell actually just said "Trent 'Silverback' WIlliams." The Law and Order commissioner is slowly turning his league into the XFL.
HE HATE ME
I'm going to pre-empt Jason Whitlock's column tomorrow and call Roger Goodell a racist.
I'm taking this occasion to christen my new grill. Be back when the Chiefs stupidly pass on Eric Berry. It's too bad they have such a devoted fanbase, because that's a terrible organization in this day and age.
Enjoy the grill.
Wow. Scott Pioli gets a few sneaky points for the Eric Perry smokescreen. Great pick. Adding Thomas Jones and Berry and losing Larry Johnson makes this the best Chiefs offseason in forever.
#6 Pick: Seattle
Pete Carroll, as "mercurial" as he is, doesn't want to screw up his first pick in Seattle and do something dumb like taje a high-risk player. He's going Okung here.
While we're waiting, the key to grilling asparagus in aluminum foil is olive oil. The key to grilling in general? Tons of lighter fluid.
Hawks take Okung. Nothing to go crazy over but a safe pick. Still, C.J. Spiller is pretty can't miss. It's not like Seattle has running back problems or anything.
That's the key to many of life's situations.
#7 Pick: Cleveland
So, Jimmy Clausen, right?
Also: The nice thing about live-commenting a draft essentially by yourself is you don't get lost reading through everyone else's comments.
Yeah sorry about that. Sadler just commented on this article…but it was about the Baysox
No worries. We're grilling, we're drafting, it's good times! I'm anxious for people to read this tomorrow morning and do a huge WTF.
Oh no, Florida CB Joe Haden's crying. Guess we don't have to worry about the upstart Browns in the AFC North this year.
It is Haden. He might be good. So might all of the other corners in this draft. The league has changed so that there are few elite shutdown corners. Haden will not be one if these guys in my opinion. So why use a #7 pick on him?
You watch it… The Browns could beat the Ravens this year…….
It'll be funny to see the reaction.
#8 Pick: Oakland
If it's not C.J. Spiller, I'll be disappointed in Mr. Davis.
Pick is in! I'm giddy. The Raiders are one of the reasons you gotta love the draft, Zach.
Rolando McClain! Okay, he's actually awesome. Maybe the Raiders are gonna rebuild based around their surprisingly decent defense after all! This…this…makes sense!? Is Al Davis dead?
They depress me. I imagine what it would feel like to be drafted by the Raiders…I'd rather work as a telemarketer.
Is it Tebow time with the Bills?
#9 Pick: Buffalo takes CJ Spiller. Alright, I guess at this point in Buffalo you just throw your hands up in the air and go "well, we have to try SOMETHING"
I am so glad i am no longer a Bills fan.
Spiller!
#10 Pick: Jacksonville
The Jags need to win this year. There's no impact guys left. Take Tebow and pray?
Tebow to sell tickets.
Screw it, take Dez Bryant! Come on Jags, do it.
And it's Tyson Alualu, a guy I saw on exactly 0 mock frist round drafts in the top 20.
Here's another grilling tip while we wait for Jacksonville: put Frank's Red Hot on EVERYTHING.
Agreed. I'm a Red Hot fan.
Thanks for a good read, Baltimore Caps. very entertaining.
I actually enjoy the first round of the draft. Of course I'm an old geek.
STG- if i come up on a friday, can we do lunch at arundel mills ?
Still waiting to hear back from Pilson.
He won't make it.
He's afraid the Old Boys – me, 2488, and Bruz will take him to Dave and Busters and school him at hoops.
Hah. He'll be closer than you Sadler.
I didn't mean tomorrow. I mean some hypothetical friday.
i did talk to Pilson tonight and he said he couldn't make lunch on friday. something about getting a pedicure.
Just let me know, I'll round up my boys. I wish Ol Bruz would contribute a little more…he's a sharp guy and knows his Baltimore Sports.
That's a bummer.
Absolutely. I'll get Ol Bruz, Ravens2488 to come along too.
Woot….. btw mark your calendars for June 25th vs the Nats. Pilson and I will be coming to town.
STG- I will buy you a Natty Boh at Pickles.
Zachy- are you olde enough to drink?
Yes sir. Summer Ale for me though.
Do they have summer ale at pickles?
They better.
Summer Ale? That sounds like a Hipster beer.
Sam Adams seasonal ale.
We need a BSR night at the Yard. Probably be the only 10 guys at the Yard by then. Although, the Nats are putting a little something together!
Yeah should. The Natinals have a pretty solid line up. No pitching though.
We should just wait til really late in the summer, they might even let us play. I call third base.
Welcome aboard!
Pick #11: Denver
Dez Bryant makes total sense here right? That's why Josh McDaniels isn't going to take him. He likes messing with your stupid mock drafts and fantasy football teams.
Anthony Davis, OT Rutgers. Guess they liked him better than Bulaga or Brown. Lots of good tackles in this draft. Hope SF knows what they're doing.
Pick #12: Miami
The Fish need help a few spots. They just got Brandon Marshall, so it makes no sense that they take Bryant. Which means they'll probably take him.
Another trade. San Diego moves up to 12. Boomer guesses Fresno State RB. That would be so idiotic. But I know even less than Boomer and the Chargers.
Chargers take Ryan Matthews. And Boomer was dead on. I guess they did need a RB.
My guess Dan Williams
I've got CF. I'm a lefty.
The Office is on…signing off for now.
Roger. Enjoy it.
#15 New York Giants
Whoever it is, it's going to get a boooooooogafafnafkalfnaanfalGIANTSklsgndkslg.
Sadler – you doing the "who replaces Trembley" article?
Great line from Major League
We'll cover it.
Just heard a "too high" about a deep fly ball at the Baysox game. Good laugh.
They need a LB. They would've loved McClain. Brandon Spikes?
Rosenhaus is lame.
#16 Pick: Tennessee
Experts are saying D-line.
Another grilling interlude: Jane's Krazy Salt improves everything that's not meat. Fact.
Good to know.
Derrick Morgan it is. I just never know with D-ends anymore. So many taken so early on, so many busts. SackSEER has him at 23.3 sacks through his 5th NFL year, FWIW.
Yeah I agree…it's a risky pick that doesn't often pan out.
#17 Pick: San Francisco
We're halfway home. San Fran jumped up to get Anthony Davis earlier, so logic would state skill player?
Mike Iupati. Idaho OG. I guess they're just going to give Alex Smith 9 seconds to throw every ball.
Pittsburgh on the clock.
#18 Pick: Pittsburgh
Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy can jump. Jimmy likes Elaine.
I like Jimmy's shoes.
Clausen seems like a Pittsburgh QB.
Make-A-Wish kid gets to announce Steelers pick. Nice touch. It's Maurkice Pouncey from Florida, who is having a party with a LOT of people in a very small wood-panel room.
Fun Fact: Make-A-Wish kid is from Florence, KY, a town 15 miles south of Cincinnati where I once worked in the mall selling dell computers. The town's water tower says "Florence Ya'll!"
The Steelers definitely need someone to stop guys up front from getting to Worthlessberger.
#19 Pick: Atlanta
Someone please freaking pick Dez Bryant! Roddy White is good, but needs help. Come on, you'd lie about being friends with Deion too!
You were the Dell dude, eh?
Keep the FF's coming. Are they doing that stuff to fill time on ESPN?
Sean Weatherspoon is a nice player. I like Brandon Spikes better.
Baysox game is over. I'm out. Be home in a bit for more comments.
Jimmy goes down!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apa0nG1OfUc
#20 Pick: Houston
Have a lot of nice pieces. Need help in the secondary. Maybe a power back to develop with Slaton. God, Slaton, why did you trick me into resting my keeper league's future on you?
Jimmy holdes a grudge! Jimmy's gonna get you Kramer!
Imagine it's 2003, and the mall wandering crowd had the Dell dude marketed specifically toward them. That was my life. We didn't even have any computers at the kiosk, we just helped people order them on Dell.com on the display models.
Dan Williams?
It's Kareem Jackson, under celebrated CB from Bama. CB is just like DE in my opinion. Crapshoot.
#21 Pick: Cincinnati
[Obvious criminal joke.]
Ha, Erin Andrews keeps saying "Jimmy." I'll be laughing about that Seinfeld episode all not.
*all night
Live shot of Tim Tebow. How many causes can you support dude? Guy has like 9 livestrongs on.
Jermaine Gresham! I think Bill Simmons called this one. Lots of people had the Ravens taking him. This all sets up to verify my Terrence Cody hunch.
#22 Pick: Broncos
Patriots trade back. Bill Simmons also called that. God damn him for being so accurate in his first mock draft attempt.
I'm just going to keep yelling about Dez Bryant until I'm right. Or until the Ravens pick him. Whichever comes first. Epiphany: TRADE UP OZZIE!!!
It's a receiver, but it's the other dude Demaryius Thomas. Can we get Elias Sports Bureau to tell us how many successful WRs have come out of Wishbone college offense?
#23 Pick: Green Bay
Lots of people are saying they like OT Charles Brown. Bulaga still available. Can I also say that Ryan Grant sucks?
Ha, via Ed Werder, McDaniels uses the Demaryious Thomas pick to take a parting shot at Brandon Marshall.
"Faster than Marshall, more physical, better hands."
#24 Pick: New England
Was BIll screwing with his old disciple? Does he actually like Bryant more than Thomas? I think they'll actually take Sergio Kindle. I'd love to get my first guess right since pick #6.
I will be elated if Bryant falls to us. Which means, as usual, New England is going to attempt to ruin my dreams.
Cowboys leapfrogged us! They're taking Bryant, CRAP!
Does every agent look like Drew Rosenhaus, or is he flying to all of his clients' houses?
This sucks, should've seen that coming. See, Belichik will indirectly ruin your night if he can't do it directly.
Aaand boom goes the dynamite.
Thank God! Kyle Wilson here we come! PLEEEEEEEZE!
#25 Pick: BALTIMORE
Alright, Zach, this is relevant to the site!
That's a good possibility.
Ravens get some extra time while the NFL picks a REALLY odd time to honor armed services and get a "USA" chant going.
Berman almost blows a gasket trying to get the ESPN analysts to shut up when they don't know their audio is on. Think he's afraid of Deadspin much?
Baltimore on the clock, but Tebow has a denver hat on?!
I think the Ravens think they can get Kyle Wilson back in the draft, and if Denver wants to give up picks to get God's Gift, why not let them?
WTF?
Indeed.
I'm afraid to say something bad about Tebow, for fear of Urban Meyer beating the everliving shit out of me.
This sucks…. I guess that it is a good trade. I wanted a 1st Rd pick.
Ravens get 43rd overall for the Tebow Trade-back.
#26 Pick: Arizona
Jahvid Best would be interesting here.
I think once we got scooped on Bryant, nobody worth sticking around for if we got an offer for the pick.
Mortensen tweeting that Monte Kiffin likes Dan Williams in the 3-4 (Arizona)
Forgot Beanie Wells existed.
It's Dan Williams. Guy fell in their lap. I think that's an excellent pick for them. Too bad Matt Leinart is their QB.
#27 Pick: New England
New England attempting to not participate in the draft today. If they trade this pick again, it's like emailing a college professor for an extension. Still like Sergio Kindle for them.
Thanks for padding our stats with to 400+ page views. You are the man!
Rumor is that the Ravens are trying to trade back into the 1st?
Pick #28: Miami
This was from the San Diego trade. I could see TCU's Jerry Hughes here.
However, Chris Mortensen is saying it's Sergio Kindle. And Mort's been right pretty much all night long. Mostly because these teams are telling him who they're taking.
Went DT Jared Odrick from Penn State.
Pick #29: New York Jets
Time for the annual Jets failure, or has Rex Ryan fixed this team for good?
Kindle is Rex's type of guy.
Rex hasn't fixed the team. He's been running it like the Redskins all off season.
That's what everyone is saying.
Please roll the Jets failure montage! "Fullback….NOOOOOOO!!!!…."
As a side note, I have no understand why they let Thomas Jones go after a career year. That dude is so underrated.
Okay, I have no idea which one of those people was Kyle Wilson. Again, LOTS of people in a very small room who all look like they just got paid.
Pick #30: Minnesota
Moving to Manhattan, set Jimmy back a bit. Jimmy doesn't like misunderstandings. Jimmy and misunderstandings, don't really mesh.
Jimmy can dunk…Jimmy's not threatened by Hank's sexuality.
[youtube Apa0nG1OfUchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apa0nG1OfUc youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apa0nG1OfUc
Jimmy…was like you, Zach.
Where the hell was Erin Andrews just reporting from? Dagobah?
#30 Pick: Detroit
Detroit trades, the ESPN spoiler camera tells us it's Jahvid best. That's a big F-U to Kevin Smith.
Haha. Love Star Wars references.
Detroit takes Best. I've had this cued up all night!
I [youtube dAJGmVY48rs&feature=fvwhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAJGmVY48rs&fe… youtube]
I was there. 'twas Awesome.
Here's another Best highlight. How good can this guy be with such epic in-game injuries?
[youtube Tyv4du7BTOchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyv4du7BTOc youtube]
Embed not working:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyv4du7BTOc
#31 Pick: Indianapolis
They should take anyone from Parks and Rec. That show has overtaken The Office for me.
Taylor Mays would be wise.
Colts go Jerry Hughes, OLB, TCU. Yeah, I know, I'm bored too.
ESPN has Ravens logo up but it says Saints? Perhaps Ravens have traded into the 32 spot?
Had some issues with embed too. Not sure what's up.
If the Ravens have traded to #32 it would be awkward since Drew Brees is there to announce this pick!
Here's the Ravens at 32 weirdness:
http://twitpic.com/1hnqf9
Weird…
That's from ESPN.com draftcast. However, with Brees announcing this pick, I'd highly doubt it's more than a glitch.
#32 Pick: New Orleans
Go with the cast of Treme. That show rules. Not at Wire level yet, but promising.
Now I've convinced myself this pick is taking forever because the Ravens traded for it. Not confident enough to spread crazy rumors on twitter.
Saints take Florida State CB Patrick Robinson, one of the guys I'd expect the Ravens to target.
I'm wondering about this that trade now. Kinda weird that the Ravens don't have a first rounder.
Wow, no applause from the crowd at the end? You know it costs like $300 to attend the draft? I think I've proved tonight the couch is the best place to be. Thanks for allowing me to hijack this thread. Goodnight Baltimore!
And San Fran has traded up apparently?
Only moving 2 spots. Earl Thomas? Derek Morgan?
#13 Denver
DEZ BRYANT PLEASE
Annnnnd they trade it to Philly, Schefter thinks Earl Thomas. I should stop making comments with teams that are going to trade the picks anyway.
Philly goes Brandon Graham, OLB/DE Michigan. He's a good player with the most boring name in the draft.
Good pick for Philly. Gonna be a rebuilding season, but I respect them for their bold approach.
#14 Pick: Seattle
Carroll will roll the dice here on someone. He's got his safe guy with Okung.
#14 Pick: Seattle
Carroll will roll the dice here on someone. He's got his safe guy with Okung.
Maybe his guy Taylor Mays?
And it's Earl Thomas. Solid pick.
Jason Pierre-Paul. First Drew Rosenhaus sighting of the night.
It's Bulaga. Berman is right, the dude LOOKS like a Packer.
Devin McCourty, CB Rutgers. Had him at 31 to the Colts.
Fun Fact: I would see any movie with Scarlett Johanssen in it, including Iron Man 2. Wait, is that a fun fact or a sad fact?
[youtube Tyv4du7BTOchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyv4du7BTOc youtube]
We should just wait til really late in the summer, they might even let us play. I call third base.