Sad Things are happening in Baltimore. The Orioles have dropped three straight games, and it appears the offense should be put on the side of a milk carton. Professional athletes hate losing, but fans handle it even more poorly – particularly so, now that social media empowers us to pout in public.

There is a lot I could say about the Orioles recent play. But I simply can’t handle Sad Things. Instead, here are some Weird Things that took place in Tuesday’s 3-1 loss to the Tampa Bay Rays.

 

1. The “Slide”

Did you see Chris Davis do that thing with his body, where he almost broke every part of it, avoiding a tag at second base? It was scary. And simultaneously beautiful. Davis, the Orioles’ $161MM man, is more much more than dongs. One of the areas that I usually praise him is his base running. That was not evident in this “slide.” After further review, weird. Check out the video here.

 

2. Jones Kickin’ It

Adam Jones made an… interesting… play in center, where, unable to field the ball cleanly, he chose to block it with his leg to keep it from getting behind him. Jones was able to retrieve the ball before the runner could advance to second, so no harm, no foul. Jones looked like he got started to think “dive,” but then thought better of it. Instead, we were treated to a weird play.

 

3. Wayne Kirby’s Noodle

What’s cooking with Kirby? First base coach Wayne Kirby, apparently succumbing to his surroundings in the best minor league ballpark in baseball, got into some sort of pool noodle battle with the Rays’ mascot. Look, I know we have our own goofy mascot, but he at least carries himself in a dignified manor – kissing young ladies and dismissively shaking his tail feathers at opposing fans.

 

4. Ubaldo Jimenez Plays Kenny Loggins

Ubaldo Jimenez went six full innings, but he spent the entire time in The Danger Zone. It started in the first inning, when Jimenez escaped a jam – he allowed a leadoff double followed by a wild pitch to advance the runner to third. Somehow he escaped. The second inning was no better: Ubaldo allowed a double and a stolen base advanced the runner to third. He then followed it with a walk. Again, no damage.

This madness continued through the sixth inning. At this point, the game was tied 1-1, and Jimenez had Kevin Kiermaier on the ropes: an 0-2 count, with two outs. So naturally, he served up a two-run home run. What was weird was that this textbook “quality start” was anything but.

 

5. Jones’ Gift of Gab

Jones made a catch in center and recognized the cheers of an Orioles fan in the “holding pen” in center at Tropicana (I don’t know, YOU tell me what it is). As the camera followed Jones back to his position, he continued talking to the fans. It appeared that his attention was focused on the fans in the center field seats, and that the exchange was a little less cordial. Jones is known for having “strong opinions” when it comes to fan incidents at the ballpark. Here’s hoping the beat writers press him for a few details.

 

 

There you have it. Instead of Sad Things, we can focus on Weird Things. Hopefully, the Orioles give us something better talk about in the series finale against the Rays. I don’t know about you, but I could certainly go for some lovely totals right now.