This recap and analysis of WWE’s Monday Night Raw are the personal opinions of the writer.  The author of this article is a former promoter, writer, and referee in the wrestling industry.  You won’t find analysis as accurate as this anywhere else on the internet.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results 4/2/12

Raw begins with a locker room full of every wrestler.  They are all sitting in chairs in front of John Laurinaitis and David Otunga.  Laurinaitis talks about how he is now in charge of Raw and Smackdown.  He immediately makes a match where Santino Marella will defend his United States Championship against Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger in a triple threat match.  CM Punk interferes and calls Laurinaitis a giant tool box.  Everyone laughs.  Laurinaitis says that Punk is a jokester.  Punk says that he likes a good rib, but that he isn’t joking.  Laurinaitis makes Punk vs. Mark Henry for the WWE Championship.  Ugh.  I don’t want to see Mark Henry wrestle.  Laurinaitis says Raw is now “people power.”  All the heels clap while the faces just sit there.

The Rock makes his way to the ring.  It’s an incredibly long entrance that takes about 5 minutes.  The crowd is hot and gives a mixed cheer that consists of “Thank you Rock” and “Boots 2 Asses.”  Another chant breaks out of “you still got it.”  The Rock says 14 months ago he came back and electrified all across the country.  He says he was victorious in front of a record breaking crowd.  He says “Finally The Rock has come back home.”  The Rock says that he has to thank John Cena.  The crowd breaks out into “Cena sucks” chants.  The Rock puts Cena over and talks about how strong his moves were.  He said he had a JHC moment while he was in the STF.  Which means Jesus H Christ get this guy off of me.  The Rock thanks Cena for making history with him in the biggest match of all time  The Rock thanks Cena’s friends, his family, and the people.  He goes on to talk about how he was cut from the Canadian Football League in 1995.  He says “do you have any idea how much you have to suck to be cut from the Canadian Football League.”  Kinda funny.  He thanks the people for making him a star.  Then he guarantees that this is not the end and that it is only the beginning.  The crowd chants “Yes yes yes yes.”  They do the Daniel Bryan arms.  I about popped out of my seat!  I love these fans.

The Rock talks about celebrating and dancing last night.  Someone whistles.  The Rock thanks the fan for whistling and calls that dude a John Cena fan.  Haha.  See, The Rock is still funny.  I know a lot of my readers are very very angry that The Rock won, and really hate him, but he’s funny!  Politics aside, he’s very entertaining.  The Rock makes the comment that he will soon be WWE Champion.  The crowd goes crazy and chants “Yes yes yes yes” again.  “If yo smelllll what The Rock is cookin.”  My first comment is: wow what a hot crowd.  They are on fire tonight.  Great promo from The Rock.  And like it or not, it’s good that he isn’t going away.  He brings millions of extra viewers to the WWE every time he’s there.  It’s good for business to continue to have The Rock around.

United States Championship: Santino Marella (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero-  Vickie introduces both clients.  Michael Cole is wearing an all white suit in homage of Laurinaitis.  A “let’s go Ziggler” chant breaks out from these awesome fans.  Ziggler and Swagger corner Santino.  They take turns wrestling him to the ground and doing sit ups and push ups on top of him.  Santino gets up and fights them both off with punches.  Santino back body drops Ziggler over the top rope, but Swagger hits him with a shoulder block.

Back from commercial break and Ziggler is stomping Santino’s face.  Santino fights out of a double team with a suplex, hip toss, drop kick, and headbutt drop.  He puts on the Cobra glove, but Ziggler suplexs him.  Swagger picks Santino up by the legs as Dolph hits a Fame Asser.  Dolph goes for the pin and Swagger stops him.  They confront each other and Swagger hits Ziggler with a belly to belly suplex.  Santino fights back up again and sends Ziggler into the ropes with with a catapault.  Swagger charges him in the corner but Santino moves.  He hits Swagger with the Cobra for the win.  After the match Santino power walks up the ramp as he’s being chased.  Brodus Clay comes to the top of the ramp.  Ziggler runs at him but he’s headbutted in mid air.  Nice spot.  The hot crowd chants “Funkasaurus.”  Brodus’ music hits as he and Santino dance.  His two dancers come out of nowhere and dance too.  Santino dances with the Cobra.  Where did the dancers come from?  I love how they just appear out of nowhere.  Pretty solid match.  This crowd can seriously carry this show.  It’s a hot Ring of Honor type crowd with nothing but smart marks.

Lord Tensai vs. Alex Riley –Finally the debut of Tensai.  His Japanese servant comes out before him and throws rice.  Tensai comes out looking like Shredder from the Ninja Turtles.  His face is covered with a black Shredder mask.  He is wearing a nice looking red robe.  A Japanese sash runs down the front.  His servant un-robes him in the ring.  He takes off the mask to reveal Japanese writing across his face.  It’s the man formerly known as A-Train from back in the early 2000’s.  The crowd chants “A-Train.”

Riley runs towards him but is hit with a back elbow.  A nasty back elbow too.  I loved it.  He shoves Riley in the corner and uses an uppercut.  Jerry Lawler says “look at the strength and speed.”  Really?  He hasn’t moved much.  How do we know he has speed?  Tensai throws Riley into the opposite corner.  He hits a series of headbutts.  Inverted front suplex followed by multiple elbow drops.  Running senton from Tensai.  All of these moves have a lot of impact.  He throws Riley back into the corner and uses multiple elbows to the side of the head.  Everytime he throws an elbow the crowd yells “yes yes yes.”  The crowd begins to chant “Daniel Bryan.”  I’m in heaven tonight.

Tensai yells something in Japanese and uses his old WWE finisher.  The referee stops the match via knockout.  But then Riley starts to pull himself up.  So why is this a knockout then?  Tensai throws rice into the air.  Riley gets up and is met with a head claw.  Very impressive debut for Tensai.  All of his moves were solid and stiff.  I really liked this match.  I really like this character.  I don’t like how he somehow won by knockout, yet Riley got back up to his feet.  It made no sense to me.  Did he just take too much time so they stopped the match?  I don’t get it.  Regardless I really want to see Tensai vs. Brodus Clay.  There is a ton of promise with Tensai.  Damn did he get good in Japan.  Your looking at a future world champion everyone.  He reminds me of other good working big men like Vader, Umaga, Yokozuna, and Bam Bam Bigelow.  That’s high praise.

WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Mark Henry- A world title match in the middle of the show?  I love it.  Two title matches already.  Great Raw so far.  Mark Henry shoves Punk to the mat to start the match.  Punk goes for shin kicks, but Henry catches them.  Punk hits some nasty forearms to the face, followed by multiple drop kicks.  Henry swats the third drop kick down.  He clubs Punk’s back then stretches him over the ropes.  The crowd chants “Daniel Bryan.”  I should be in this crowd.  This seriously is the best Raw crowd we will ever see in our lives.  It’s the greatest crowd of all time.  Congrats if you were in it.

Back to the match.  Henry is standing on top of Punk’s back.  The crowd isn’t paying attention.  They are chanting “yes yes yes.”  Henry kicks at Punk’s head.  Henry yells “you move when I tell you to.”  Punk finally makes it to his feet and tries to chop Henry down with kicks.  Henry catches him in a bear hug, but Punk fights out with elbows.  Every elbow gets a “yes” from the crowd.  Punk kicks Henry’s chest multiple times.  Every kick gets a “yes.”  More “yes” chants from the crowd.  Henry knocks Punk down and goes for a Vader bomb.  The crowd chants “no no no.”  OMG.  I’m going to stop calling the wrestling and only call the crowd tonight.  Punk goes for a springboard but he’s met with a clothesline from Henry.  Commercial.

Henry is still in control after commercial.  The crowd chants “Daniel Bryan.”  Punk makes it to his feet and both guys punch and chop at each other.  “Yes” chants for every Punk chop and “No” chants for every Henry punch.  Punk goes to the top rope and uses the Macho Man Flying Elbow.  More “yes” chants.  Running high knee in the corner by Punk.  Literally every single time a move is hit the crowd yells “yes.”  Every single move.  Before a move happens the crowd chants “ooooooooo” then “yes” once it’s hit.  This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.  Henry throws Punk to the outside after a bulldog attempt.  Punk can’t make it back into the ring and is counted out.  Henry wins by count out.  Punk retains his title.

Henry goes to the outside and hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Punk.  Laurinaitis comes out and says that Punk will continue to defend his title on a consistent basis.  He says Punk will be hit with a natural disaster.  Chris Jericho comes out of the crowd with a microphone.  He wants to celebrate their great match with a drink.  Jericho says he drinks, but not in excess, and he never drinks and drives.  Haha.  Keeping it PG.  Jericho takes some liquor and pours it over Punk’s head.  He kicks Punk and slips and falls over the puddle.  The crowd laughs at him.  Poor Jericho.  He gets another bottle and talks about Punk’s family.  He tells Punk not to drink too much because it will go straight to his head.  He busts the bottle over Punk’s head.  Great stuff.  Pouring alcohol over Punk.  Genius.  So simple and yet such huge heat at the same time.

Sheamus comes out to the ring.  He is booed by the AMAZING crowd.  Before Sheamus can talk Alberto Del Rio’s music hits.  Ricardo Rodriguez comes out to introduce him.  Oh how I’ve missed Del Rio.  And Ricardo.  His “O” on Rio is held longer than ever.  The crowd chants “Si si si si si si.”  So amazing.  I don’t even know what else to say.  Del Rio starts his promo about Sheamus losing his title, but the crowd drowns him out with “Daniel Bryan” chants.  The crowd chants “si si si si si” some more.  Sheamus talks but he’s booed heavily.  Del Rio tells Sheamus that he’s been given a World Championship match on Smackdown Friday.  The crowd chants “We want Bryan.”  Del Rio’s mic starts to cut out.  He switches mics and is Brogue Kicked in the face when he turns around.  The crowd boos Sheamus some more.

Daniel Bryan is in the back.  Finally.  The crowd pops big time when they see him.  Josh Matthews interviews him.  He stares at Matthews and doesn’t answer anything.

Machine Gun Kelly is shown at ringside.  The crowd boos him.

Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston- Rhodes hits a clothesline to start.  He’s angry after his loss last night.  He charges Kofi but is met with boots to the face.  Springboard cross body off the top rope from Kofi.  Rhodes punches him and hits the Beautiful Disaster Kick.  He picks Kofi up for Cross Rhodes but Big Show’s music hits.  Big Show shows a video on the Titan Tron.  It’s a “Big Show Presents: Another Embarrassing Cody Rhodes Wrestlemania Moment.”  It’s Big Show knocking Rhodes out at Wrestlemania last night.  Rhodes is angry.  He is hit with Trouble In Paradise by Kofi.  That’s the match.  Kofi wins.  I don’t like short matches, but I did like the Big Show video.  Kinda funny.  A good idea.  Good Raw so far.

Mark Henry and Abraham Washington are in the back.  Yes the guy that used to have his own show on ECW.  Washington wants to be Henry’s manager.  He gives Henry his card.  The Abraham Washington Show used to be pretty funny a few years ago.  Tony Atlas and his laugh really made it though.  Giving Henry a manager kinda sends him back to the way he used to be though.  His main event status is about over.  He should probably retire soon.  Mainly because I don’t ever want to see him again.

Eve Torres comes out to the ramp.  The crowd chants “hoeski.”  Eve says that everyone wants their Wrestlemania moment and that she got hers last night.  The crowd chants “we want Ryder woo woo woo.”  Eve says its easy to manipulate any man.  Except for John Laurinaitis.  Because powerful men can’t be manipulated.  She puts over Laurinaitis’ “people power.”  Eve is turning in to a great heel.

The Miz vs. Zack Ryder- This is exactly what I want to see.  Very loud “let’s go Ryder woo woo woo” chants.  Ryder runs at Miz with a forearm to the face.  Miz rolls to the outside, but Ryder chases him, and sends his face off the barricade.  Sunset flip back into the ring by Ryder.  Miz gets up and hits an elbow to the face.  Ryder comes back by pushing Miz into the corner and punching him down.  Miz hits a boot to the face.  He gets on Ryder’s back and hits multiple forearms across the front of the face.  Ryder is Irish whipped into the corner.  Miz charges but is met with double knees to the face.  A few reversals happen until Ryder face plants Miz into the mat.  Running forearm in the corner followed by the Broski Boot.  Two count.    Ryder goes for a neckbreaker, but he’s sent shoulder first into the corner.  Skull Crushing Finale by Miz for the win.  Good match.  Very fast paced.  It’s great to see The Miz winning again.  Miz mocks Ryder’s fist pump.  It looks like Ryder is going to have a downward spiral until his re-push.  They wont bury him people.  They will just get a lot of heat against him to build him as an even bigger face.  People are already feeling sorry for him.  And that’s a good thing.  I love what they are doing with both Miz and Ryder.  Finally.  The writers are starting to do things the right way.  Just a little bit.  Most of them still need fired though.

John Cena comes to the ring.  Huge boos from the crowd.  They did a nice job making his arrival and reaction anticipated tonight.  They showed a bunch of old promo clips throughout the night then waited until the end of the night to bring him out.  Everyone wanted to know what Cena would do.  I love how they held it off.  Cena quotes Muhammad Ali about accepting loss.  Cena says he’s meant everything he said over the last few months.  He never thought he was going to lose.  Does this mean he thought he was going over until Vince told him otherwise near the actual show?  Maybe so.  The crowd chants “your a loser.”  This crowd is much more anti Cena than the Wrestlemania crowd was.  Cena says “will this finally be the day I lash out at the WWE Universe?”  The crowd chants “yes yes yes yes” very loudly.  Haha.  Best YES of the night!!!  Cena says that won’t happen.  They boo loudly.

Cena says he will man up and admit defeat.  He gives a shout out to Machine Gun Kelly.  The fans boo him again.  Cena says he is not here to call out The Rock.  He says he did that for the last year and that its settled.  The crowd chants “we want Lesnar.”  Which trends on Twitter.  Cena says he wants The Rock.  He wants The Rock to know that he considers him an inspiration and the greatest WWE wrestler in this industry.  Cena wants another celebration for Dwayne Johnson in this ring.  Cena says he laid everything out physically and went way over the line verbally.  Interesting line there from Cena.  The crowd chants “we want Lesnar.”  Cena tries to play it off.  He keeps going back to The Rock.  Finally he acknowledges the “yes” chants and does them himself.  He says “Daniel Bryan you owe me one.”  The crowd chants “Daniel Bryan.”  Cena says “this is why I love Raw.”  He invites The Rock to the ring.

Brock Lesnar’s music hits.  He walks out to the stage.  Massive reaction.  “Holy shit” chant from the crowd.  Lesnar goes for a handshake then immediately picks Cena up and hits the F5.  The crowd goes crazy as the show goes off the air.

Wow.  What a Raw.  Absolutely incredible.  Raw tonight was a million times better than Wrestlemania was.  The crowd was epic.  Lesnar’s return was epic.  I spoke in my Wrestlemania Recap last night about how it would make sense for Brock Lesnar to return and target Cena.  Now that Cena is down and out after a Rock loss, it makes sense for another legend to come back and try to destroy his legacy.  That is exactly what Brock will try to do.  Hopefully they don’t try to build this for Wrestlemania 29.  I want to see it immediately.  Great Raw though.  Lord Tensai was awesome.  Miz winning was awesome.  Punk was great against a larger opponent.  The crowd was the best of all time.  The WWE should have made a last second change and let Daniel Bryan come out to the stage for his wordless interview.  That’s what the crowd deserved.  And for all of my friends on here that argue that Punk is better than Bryan…just look at what happened tonight.  The world knows that Daniel Bryan is the best in the world.  After a very disappointing Wrestlemania I’ll be able to sleep easy tonight.

Because of the huge Daniel Bryan reaction tonight let’s look at the post show dark match.  Here are a few Tweets from Travis King who was in the crowd tonight in Miami and reported on the off air match.

@mutualslump Daniel Bryan is in the dark match. And you thought Brock got a huge reaction…
@mutualslump It’s Bryan/Kane/Rhodes v Sheamus/Show/Orton
@mutualslump Faces d. Heels (Brogue kick, Sheamus pin Bryan). Sheamus celebrated with YES YES YES afterward. Dick.

There is only one way for me to end this article tonight….

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES  YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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