In the spirit of Jimmy the Greek, we’re going to offer you some stone cold locks this football weekend, or, just some spurious guesses based on cursory analysis and casual observation. Either way, this being Baltimore, we thought we’d hear from our favorite wholesale narcotics importer: the man known simply as “The Greek.”

Greek’s 2011 record ATS: 10-10

Greetings readers. Sergei’s thumbs are safe for now with his formulas producing a 2-2 week 8. We remain outside of Baltimore waiting for our record to climb back above the .500 mark. This week our picks come to you from an undisclosed location along the Hudson River in NJ. We’ve brought on Jimmy from Jersey City as a consultant to The Greek and have combined Sergei’s formulas and Jimmy’s A.G.W.’s to hopefully get us back to the city by the bay by the week 10 picks.

Here is what the latest computations spit out for week 9.

Buffalo -2 over NY Jets
There comes a time in every season where the team you’re wondering about puts up or shuts up. I’m clearly talking about Buffalo here because the Jets are never gonna shut up. Put up? We’ll see, but never on the shut up side. Rex Ryan and the Jabberjaws are 0-3 ATS away from Giants Stadium. No, wait! The New Meadowlands Stadium. Damnit! Met Life Stadium. Point being the stadium has more new names in 2011 than the Jets do wins ATS on the road. Conversely, the Bills are only 1-2 ATS as the favorite, but 3-1 ATS at home. Probably a field goal game either way. I’m choosing Buffalo to have a non Norwoodian ending in week 9.

Side note: The over is 11-3 combined for both teams in 2011.

Kansas City -3.5 over Miami Dolphins
Miami hurt us last week as the Giants did indeed come out flat after their bye week. This week they (the Phins) travel to KC in their latest rendition of “We can’t wait to draft Andrew Luck next year”. We try to balance that out with one of our week 8 winners in taking the Chiefs. KC is 5-2 ATS this year and 2-1 ATS at home. Miami is 1-6 ATS after last week’s cover. KC has won 4 straight, Miami is winless. This looks like two trains (another train reference?!?!?!?) passing in the night. We’re choosing to be on the red one.

San Francisco -3.5 over Washington Redskins
Put simply, the 49ers haven’t lost ATS this year with 6 wins and a push. This game can’t push due to the hook and the Redskins have a losing record ATS overall, at home and as an underdog. The 49ers are looking to take the month of December off and a win in the nation’s capital will go a long way to ensuring that happens.

Cincinnati +3 against Tennessee Titans
AGAIN?!?!? The Bengals? On the road?! Cincy is now 4-0 ATS on the road and 3-0 ATS as a dog in 2011. Sometimes stats outweigh logic. The Bengals are also 6-1 ATS overall so the odds-makers have been getting it wrong with them. Tennessee is 3-4 ATS overall, 2-2 ATS at home and 1-3 ATS as the favorite. This could be the week that the Bungles show up, but until they do we’re riding the hot team.

NY Giants +8.5 against New England Patriots
Going back again to another team that hurt us in week 8 with New York (ahem, Jersey!). New England will be at home where they haven’t lost since the Model T was invented, angry because they got beat by Pitt and motivated to put Super Bowl XLII far in the rear view mirror. I think they win the game outright, but the Giants hang around long enough to stay within the 8.5*. The Giants can still rush the passer as evidenced by their 5 sacks against Miami. Look for that pressure to keep them in the game, but the “Little Wes That Could” might throw a monkey wrench into those plans if his neck allows him to play.

*Jimmy from JC picked this game and is attending this game. He’s also attempting not to let his Giants fandom cloud his thoughts**

** This is the 4th straight year Jimmy and a group of friends go to an away Giants game. Big Blue is 2-1 ATS on those trips.