WWE Monday Night Raw Results 8/13/12 from Dallas, TX
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. The Big Show- Raw begins with a wrestling match? What? A wrestling show that actually begins with a wrestling match? And a heel vs. heel match at that? What has made them try to be so edgy all of a sudden? Tie up to start. Punk is tossed down because he’s smaller. Punk fights back aggressively with punches and hard kicks. Big Show slows Punk’s momentum with a headbutt. Big torso punch by Show, followed by a choke on the rope. Big Show uses more torso blows and chops Punk in the corner. Punk fights back with straight punches, bounces off the ropes, and is met with a shoulder block. Big Show stands on top of Punk’s body against the ropes. Show then steps on Punk’s head. Awesome.
Another big chop against the ropes. Big Show palms Punk’s head, but Punk gets out by stepping on Show’s feet. Drop kick by Punk doesn’t knock Big Show off his feet. Knee to the gut by Big Show keeps him in control. Elbow drop to the arm of Punk. Leg drop to Punk’s arm. Another full body stand. Punk reverses an Irish whip with a kick to the face. He tries to knock Big Show down with multiple clotheslines. Big Show whips Punk into the corner, but Punk moves on the charge. High knee to the face. Punk goes for a bulldog, but he’s pushed off, and then speared by Big Show.
Daniel Bryan’s music hits. He comes out arguing with the crowd, screaming NO, and ripping up YES signs. Bryan yells to the commentary table that he deserves a title shot. Big Show side slams Punk and gets a two count. He climbs the turnbuckle for a Bomb, but Punk kicks out his shin. Punk climbs to the top rope and jumps off with a clothesline. Two count. Daniel Bryan hits the ring and attacks Punk. He locks in the NO lock. Big Show delivers an elbow drop to Punk while he’s in the NO lock. John Cena comes running down for the save. He sends Bryan and Big Show out of the ring.
AJ Lee’s music hits. She comes skipping to the ring. She announces a predictable tag team match. Punk is angry that he has to team with Cena. Punk and Cena argue in the ring as AJ skips up the ramp. I miss AJ the crazy chick. She’s going to get stale real quickly. How generic was the build to that tag match? Daniel Bryan randomly comes out for no reason? Why would he come out? What was the point? There wasn’t one other than to set up a predetermined match. It’s crap like this that make people complain that wrestling is “fake” and predictable. There was absolutely zero thought put into the build of this tag match. Bryan is hilarious ripping up the signs though. That’s my new favorite part of his gimmick.
JTG and Kaitlyn are in the back. JTG is complaining that Raw is now 3 hours yet he still cant get a match. He says Raw is crazy. AJ walks up and is angry that he said the word crazy. She tells JTG to go to the ring for a match. AJ asks Kaitlyn if she thinks she’s unstable. Kaitlyn says that she can think of a lot of words to describe AJ, but unstable isn’t one of them. I guess that’s the build of something new. Expect to start seeing Kaitlyn a lot more.
JTG vs. Ryback- Ryback has a new voice over to his music. It’s a weird “feed me more” intro. His music also has words to it now. He’s moving up in the world. Tie up to start. JTG is tossed down. That’s the same way the last match started. JTG powders to the corner and heels it up by yelling at the ref. “Goldberg” chants from the crowd. Uppercut by JTG. He bounces off the ropes, but is caught in an impressive overhead belly to belly suplex. Hard boot to the chest by Ryback. He bounces JTG’s head off the mat multiple times. Ryback raises his arms while the crowd chants “feed me more” on every arm raise. Pretty awesome chant. Very hard clothesline. Ryback hits Shell Shocked for the win. Michael Cole says “I can’t wait to see JTG tweet about this.” That made me lol. Let me catch you up to speed. JTG went on a rant this past week on Twitter running his mouth about the WWE and how people aren’t treated right. So tonight he gets squashed. I fully expect a “future endeavored” post on WWE.com tomorrow. Goodbye JTG. Good luck on the Indy scene doing Cryme Tyme reunions.
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper is in the back with Shawn Michaels. The fans gets to vote on who Piper’s guest on Piper’s Pit will be tonight. Piper mentions something about fighting Brock Lesnar to Michaels. Michaels says he’s not going to fight Lesnar. Michaels gets on the phone and tells someone that he’s supposed to be there. Apparently Triple H has a “delayed flight.”
Heath Slater vs. WWE Tag Team Champion R-Truth w/ Little Jimmy- I saw him wave Little Jimmy out, so I assume he’s with him. Slater pushes Truth into the corner. Truth counters with corner punches. Hip toss by Truth. He does a split and dances, but Slater rolls out of the way. They exchange punches. Nice neck breaker by Slater. Slater stomps away at Truth while playing air guitar. Funny stuff. He whips Truth into the corner, but Truth moves. Truth comes back with clotheslines and hits the Little Jimmy for the win. Slater jobs again. Shocker.
Prime Time Players’ music hits. They quickly dance on the stage before hitting the ring. It’s a two on one attack on R-Truth. Sit out power bomb by O’Neil. More dancing in the ring. Notice the AW absence? I did mention the last two weeks that I thought AW would be released over his Kobe Bryant rape joke. And he was. No more AW. It’s just O’Neil and Young now. Why don’t they stick Vickie Guerrero with them? She needs more clients. I liked how she had multiple people. Swagger is worthless, so they need to do something else with her. The “Excuse Me” interruption would be perfect for introducing Prime Time.
Mark Henry at the Olympics video. Ugh. It pains me to have type the words Mark Henry again. Ew I just did it again. So Henry was at the Olympics. Yay! My night was made by getting to see that video. I miss Mark Henry. He is very athletic and a great technical wrestler. He has a lot of charisma and is highly entertaining. You believe me right?
Booker T video. It’s a WWE.com Exclusive! It’s his comments after Smackdown went off the air! This stuff is riveting. General Manager Booker T says that Alberto Del Rio’s title shot at Summerslam has been taken away from him. Then we get a Tout from Alberto Del Rio saying that Booker can’t do that. Yawn. People are now supposed to Tout what they think. Really? Raise your hand if you care…..nobody? Didn’t think so.
Sin Cara vs. Tensai- Well this seems like a mismatch. Not just in size, but in styles as well. Sin Cara begins the match with a kick to the shin. Quick upper cut by Tensai. He picks Sin Cara up for a powerbomb, but Sin Cana rolls down his back. Tensai grabs him again, but is head scissored. Tensai again gains control with a shoulder block. He goes for a Vader Bomb, but Sin Cara moves. Sin Cara climbs the top rope and hits a senton. He hits a Yakuza Kick on Sakamoto, who is randomly on the apron. Head scissor #2 sends Tensai into Sakamoto. Enzuguri kick. Sin Cara comes off the top rope with a hurricane DDT. He gets the 3 count. Sin Cara gets the upset. Tensai’s is now a jobber to smaller guys. First Tyson Kidd and now this. Tensai pulls Sakamoto into the ring and hits a sit out power bomb. Running Senton by Tensai. He is angry. Doesn’t this spot happen at the end of every single one of his matches? And what is the point in putting over Botch Cara?
Shawn Michaels is in the back. He is with a crew guy. He asks the guy if he’s seen Lesnar. He wants to be notified when Lesnar is seen. I kinda like this. The paranoia of Michaels is believable and makes sense. Wouldn’t you be paranoid if Brock Lesnar promised to attack you? Exactly. That’s why it works.
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper is in the ring. Jerry Lawler introduces him. Piper talks about Jericho, Ziggler, and Miz. They are the three guys that the fans can vote for to be on Piper’s Pit. This is an obvious choice. Lawler shows the results. It’s Jericho of course. Wonderful. Two of my top 5 favorites of all time in one ring. Jericho makes his way to the ring. Piper says that last time he saw Jericho, Mickey Rourke knocked him out. Jericho says he knocked Piper out before that. Piper says he doesn’t remember any of that. Piper talks about how Ziggler says Jericho can’t win the big one anymore. “Excuse me!” Here comes Vickie Guerrero. She introduces Dolph Ziggler.
Ziggler says that Piper has been doing the same tired routine for decades. He says it’s not interesting, groundbreaking, or nostalgic. He says its just sad. Piper makes fun of Ziggler wearing pink. Ziggler tells Jericho that he will eventually be like deranged Piper. He asks Jericho how many failed comebacks he would continue to have. Jericho says he wasn’t paying attention because he was staring at the bowl of spaghetti on Ziggler’s head. Vickie interrupts. Jericho spits out the old catch phrase “will you please shut the hell up.” Then we get the “never eeeeever” catch phrase. I love Jericho’s face catch phrases. Always will.
The Miz’s music hits. He says that he and Ziggler can win the big ones. Ziggler won Money in the Bank, and Miz won in the main event at Wrestlemania 27 and the Intercontinental Championship. Miz says he’s taking over the show. Ziggler is his guest and Piper and Jericho must leave. Piper screams no. Jericho attacks Miz and Ziggler. He dumps them both to the outside. I was confused by the involvement of The Miz until I saw the next match.
Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero- Why are they doing this? Technically this match is bigger than just seeing Jericho vs. Ziggler. So why would I care to see those two fight at Summerslam after watching this? Miz and Ziggler attack Jericho to start. Jericho fights them off with punches. Miz is whipped to the corner and hit with a running clothesline. Back suplex by Jericho to Miz. Drop kick by Jericho to Ziggler, which sends him out of the ring. Kick to the back by Jericho on Miz. Suplex results in a one count. I love one counts early in matches. Hard chop by Jericho. He runs off the ropes, but his legs are grabbed by Ziggler. Ziggler stomps Jericho. Miz stomps Jericho. They double team him with punches. Miz chokes Jericho on the ropes. Jericho fights back but is cut off. Double suplex by Miz and Ziggler.
Ziggler delivers two jumping elbow drops. Miz pulls Ziggler off of Jericho during the pin fall attempt. Jericho pushes them as they argue. He dumps them both to the outside. Jericho launches himself over the top rope and onto both of them. He poses on top of the commentary table. He kicks Miz from the apron, but is elbowed off by Ziggler. Jericho crashes into the commentary table. That’s a commercial spot. Back from break Miz has Jericho in a chin lock in the ring. So why did the commercial spot set up Ziggler being in control if he wasn’t going to be in control when they came back? Jericho fights out with elbows. His comeback is cut off by a knee to the gut. More choking against the ropes by Miz. Slingshot into the bottom rope. Miz kicks Ziggler, who is on the outside apron, and attempts a pin fall. Miz doesn’t let Jericho get to his feet and jumps into his back. Camel clutch by Miz. Jericho elbows out.
Jericho moves away from a charge in the corner. Multiple shoulder blocks by Jericho. He spring boards off the ropes and drop kicks Ziggler. Running bull dog by Jericho. Lion Sault. Two count before Ziggler hits the ring. Jericho Thesz Presses him. He dumps Miz to the ropes. His crotch is caught on the upper rope. Miz is pulled to the upper turnbuckle. Jericho attempts a superplex. Ziggler comes running in. Super bump triple power bomb by Ziggler off the rope rope. Jericho and Miz go crashing down. Two count on the pinfall by Ziggler. He hits a Fame Asser. Another two count. Miz comes running in the ring and hits a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz. Two count as Jericho breaks the fall. Jericho is sent into the corner and is caught in a back breaker. Miz goes for a neck breaker, but Jericho counters it into a Walls of Jericho attempt. Miz rolls through and gets up. Hard boot to the face by Miz. Ziggler comes back with a clothesline.
Code Breaker out of nowhere by Jericho onto Ziggler. Jericho goes for the pinfall, but Vickie Guerrero puts Ziggler’s boot on the bottom rope. Quick roll up by Miz on Jericho as he was arguing with Vickie. Two count. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Jericho counters it into the Walls of Jericho. Vickie jumps up onto the apron as Miz taps out. Ziggler grabs Jericho and hits a Zig Zag. He gets the three count. Ziggler wins. Very solid match. I liked it a lot. So Jericho will now obviously beat Ziggler at Summerslam. That will be his last match for awhile while he goes on tour with Fozzy.
CM Punk is in the back. Eve Torres walks up to him. She congratulates him on being a new CM Punk. Punk says there is not a new CM Punk and that he is the same guy. He says he’s always fought for respect. She says she don’t believe him and neither does Cena. Punk says he will go tell Cena right now. Why? Why would he have to do that? Why would he want to do that? Why would he care? Why do we care? So many questions, so little answers.
Shawn Michaels is in the back with John Cena. Cena says hi to him from behind. Michaels jumps. He says he’s distracted. CM Punk walks up to Cena. Punk tells Cena that he isn’t a guy who takes short cuts. He says he’s not going to be phony and he’s admitting that he doesn’t want a triple threat match. Punk says he’s making sure everything is all about him. I don’t really care for this all about me thing.
Wade Barrett promo. More clips of him beating up people during bare knuckle fights. His Barrett Barrage has just begun. Looking forward to his return.
Divas’s Champion Layla and Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix- A Diva’s match? They still exist? Wasn’t Beth a face? I can’t remember because it’s been so long since I’ve seen her. I could be wrong. To be honest I don’t really care that much. Beth and Layla start. Kick to the gut by Beth. Gorilla press slam is countered into a rollup. Two count. Beth comes back with a kick to the face. Layla is powered into the corner. Tag to Eve. Irish whip is countered into an arm drag by Layla. Back spinning leg kick by Layla. Springboard DDT. Two count. Layla applies a head lock. Eve fights out with a whip. Layla jumps over a grounded Eve and dances. Then she does a butt bump to the face. Ugh. That was retarded. I hate Layla.
Eve knocks Kaitlyn off the apron. Clothesline by Eve followed by a two count. Tag to Kaitlyn. Layla whips Eve into Kaitlyn, who catches her with a side slam. Stomps to the gut by Kaitlyn. She whips over Eve into a bridging pin for a two count. Eve reverses an Irish whip into the corner, Kaitlyn jumps to the top rope. Eve pulls her legs out as she crashes to the mat. Stomps and grounded punches by Eve. Two count. Tag to Beth. The crowd starts to chant “We want Ryder.” I love it. Beth chokes Kaitlyn with her boot. She is whipped into the corner. Beth pushes Layla off the apron. That allows the heels to double team Kaitlyn in the corner.
Beth charges Kaitlyn, but she gets the boots up. Beth grabs Kaitlyn and picks her up. Kaitlyn rolls down her back. She sends Beth into Eve. Kaitlyn rolls up Beth for the win. An upset win for Kaitlyn. That’s honestly probably the first time that I’ve ever had to type out a Diva’s match on Raw. They are usually only about 2 minutes long. That one was pretty good though. Nice job. It looks like Kaitlyn will now be getting a push. I can see her turning heel soon. Her backstage segment with AJ earlier was proof of that. I can see her winning the Diva’s Championship. Mainly because Michael Cole said “some think that Kaitlyn is a future Diva’s Champion.” Which means she will soon win the title and then feud with her old friend AJ.
The Big Show and Daniel Bryan vs. WWE Champion CM Punk and John Cena- Cena and Bryan start the match. YES chants from the crowd. Tie up to start. Side headlock by Cena. Irish whip into a shoulder block. Punk tags himself in. Cena isn’t happy. Punk and Bryan tie up. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! Roll over side head lock by Punk. Same spot. Irish whip into a shoulder block. Another Irish whip into a Punk hip toss. Cena tags himself in. Punk isn’t happy. Big Show wants tagged. Bryan yells NO NO NO in his face. HAHA. Hilarious! Cena and Bryan tie up. Irish whip, leap frog, hip toss, and drop kick by Cena. Finally a tag to Big Show. Damn. I was loving Bryan trying to do it all himself. Big Show comes running with a big boot. Then he starts his typical big man brawling. Hard Irish whip to the corner makes Cena front bump. Cena fights up with punches, but his shoulder block is unsuccessful. Commercial. This match was really entertaining until Big Show was tagged in.
Back from break we see Cena in the corner. Big Show runs at him and strikes with a body bump. Cena fights back again but he’s caught in a bear hug. Bryan tags himself in. He tells Big Show to get out of the ring. Love it. Bryan is making this match great. Bryan misses with a running drop kick in the corner. Punk tags himself in. Springboard clothesline from the apron. Tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Two count after Big Show interferes. Punk goes for the tag, but Cena isn’t there. Bryan drags Punk to the corner and tags Big Show. Ugh. Stop tagging him. A body shot by Big Show. Shocker. A chop against the ropes. Shocker. Cena is now back up on the apron. Punk fights back. He is caught in another bear hug. Shocker. Punk fights out with elbows to the neck. Because he’s awesome. Big Show comes back with a back body drop. He walks over Punk’s body. It was only cool the first time tonight.
Body slam by Big Show. Shocker. Bryan tags himself in. Thank god. He tells Big Show to leave the ring again. It’s still hilarious. Hard kicks to the chest by Bryan. The crowd chants YES while he yells NO on each shot. Awesome. Simply awesome. Punk comes back with a Yakuza Kick to the head. Punk looks at Cena and says “now you want a tag?” Instead he uses multiple shoulder blocks on Bryan. Side suplex. Punk goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. He does “You can’t see me.” When he bounces off the ropes he’s tagged by Cena. Cena hits a high knee in the corner followed by a bulldog. They just stole each others spots. CM Punk gets angry and leaves.
Bryan uses a roll up for a two count. Cena comes back with an Attitude Adjustment for the win. Why does Bryan keep losing? It’s starting to piss me off. Big Show gets in the ring to attack Cena. Punk comes in for the save and nails Big Show in the head with his title. Cena and Punk stare at each other. Punk goes for a hand shake. The Code of Honor!!! Cena won’t shake his hand. So Punk gets mad and leaves. Cena is a jerk!
Josh Mathews interviews CM Punk in the back. Punk says that Cena went into business for himself. He didn’t care about their tag team. He says Cena disrespected him by not shaking his hand. He is going to teach Cena about respect at Summerslam.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman are in the back talking. There will be a contract signing with Triple H later in the evening. I hate contract signings. Except for the ones that Punk are involved in.
Damien Sandow vs. Christian- Tie up to start. Sandow is aggressive and attacks. Irish whip into the corner. Shoulder thrusts into the corner. Russian leg sweep. Elbow drop. Two count. Irish whip. Christian gets his knees up. He misses a leap, but comes back with slaps to the face. Stupid jumping to the outside upper cut spot. Back elbow off the rope. Sandow rolls to the outside. Christian follows and charges. Sandow sends him head first into the steel steps. Sandow bashes Christian’s head into the steps multiple times. Nasty. Awesome.
Brodus Clay’s music hits. He comes walking down the aisle in a knee brace. That music of his just doesn’t seem to make him look like a legitimate threat to me. Plus he is smiling. Shouldn’t he be angry? Why is he smiling? Is smiling his favorite? Because maybe he should make work his favorite. Christian rolls up Sandow, but only gets the two count. Sandow hits the Enlightener for the win. Good to see Sandow being pushed and getting a big win against Christian. Hopefully Sandow vs. Clay happens at Summerslam. Both guys have never had a meaningful feud. Clay hasn’t even really had a meaningful match before. Both guys can’t go over so this feud is intriguing. I expect Sandow to go over in it though. Sandow is a future World Heavyweight Champion. I may go as far as to predict that Sandow will be the guy that takes the championship away from Sheamus. IF they hold off the Ziggler title reign for awhile.
Shawn Michaels is in the back. He turns around and runs into Brock Lesnar. They stare at each other. Michaels walks away. Lesnar laughs.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman talks about Triple H’s flight delays. He says this match is the most personal fight of Triple H’s life. He says the standing in Triple H’s own family will be on the line. Heyman says that the people wont get a good wrestling match with two guys competing. He says they will get a guy suffering to a mercenary. Have I mentioned how phenomenal Paul Heyman is on the mic? Heyman wants Michaels to come to the ring. He says that Michaels is afraid of Lesnar and won’t come out.
Shawn Michaels’ music hits. Heyman tells him that he can sign on behalf of Triple H. Triple H’s music hits. He is removing his suit as he makes his way down the aisle. They stare at each other over the contract table. Triple H signs. Brock Lesnar signs and throws the contract at Triple H. Brock exits the ring. He walks up the ramp. That was incredibly anti-climatic. Probably the most boring contract signing in the history of terrible contract signings. So if that wasn’t the main event what can be left in the show? There aren’t anymore promoted matches or segments tonight.
Triple H and Shawn Michaels are in the back. Michaels tells Triple H that Brock is on a different level than all the guys that Triple H has ever faced. Michaels tells him that he will have to beat Lesnar alone. He walks away.
Matt Striker interviews Big Show in the parking lot. Big Show says his match isn’t effected by tonight.
Shawn Michaels’ horn is blowing. Matt Striker runs away from Big Show and over to Shawn. Paul Heyman is blocking Michaels from leaving in his car. Lesnar runs up from behind and grabs Michaels by the neck. He bumps into the camera, which goes black. Nothing is seen but the shouting of Lesnar and Michaels is heard. Lesnar is yelling “give this to Hunter.” That takes us to commercial. Back from break the destroyed car is shown. Wrestlers are surrounded around the car. AJ doesn’t know where Shawn is. Triple H runs up looking for him. AJ tells him that Brock took Shawn.
Brock Lesnar is carrying Michaels on his shoulder into the arena. He throws Shawn into the ring. He picks Shawn up again and delivers the F5. Then he hooks in the Kumura Lock on Shawn’s arm. Triple H comes running down the aisle. Heyman yells at him to stop or Shawn’s arm will be broken. Triple H stops. Lesnar snaps his arm anyways. Triple H runs into the ring and Lesnar retreats. Heyman is yelling “oh my god you broke his arm.” EMT’s attend to Michaels. Lesnar and Triple H stare at each other from the ramp as Raw goes off the air.
Umm I don’t know guys. Not sure how I feel about that ending segment. The thing took about a half hour to happen with commercial breaks. The arm bend that Lesnar did to break the arm was pretty sick looking and believable. That part I liked. But I just don’t know. I wasn’t that entertained by it. The show was decent overall. A lot of wrestling, which is good. I really liked the triple threat match and the Daniel Bryan tag match. Daniel Bryan yelling at Big Show was the highlight of the night. The Diva’s match was pretty good too. Just a decent night. Nothing to really remember though. No Zack Ryder on a 3 hour show angers me. I don’t get it.
Brock Lesnar beats Triple H. He has too. Lesnar can’t lose to Cena and Triple H. Why would Triple H need to win other than for his own ego? If they want Lesnar to continue to look like a monster against Undertaker at Wrestlemania, he has to win matches.
CM Punk retains against John Cena and Big Show. There is a chance that Cena wins though. If that happens Punk will go into full heel mode. Something good could come from the loss I guess. But I’m being an optimist and hoping that Punk retains.
Sheamus retains against Alberto Del Rio. Dolph Ziggler successfully cashes in and becomes the new World Heavyweight Champion. There is nothing for Ziggler to do now that his feud with Jericho is over. Sheamus has nobody left to face. His title reign has gotten stale.
Chris Jericho beats Dolph Ziggler. It’s his last match before a hiatus. So he has to win. This show should open the show in preparation for Ziggler’s big win later in the night.
Prime Time Players win the WWE Tag Team Championship from Kofi Kingston and R-Truth. This one is a long time coming.
The Miz successfully defends against Rey Mysterio. In a pointless thrown together match.
Kane beats Daniel Bryan. And I will then throw up.
And in the pre show Santino Marella will somehow leave with the United States Championship. Maybe by DQ, because he won’t beat Antonio Cesaro clean. Happy to see Cesaro getting a big match though. He needs the title. What does it tell you about Santino’s title reign if none of his title defenses can even get onto the PPV? It must end. Cesaro must win the title soon.
Follow me on Twitter @FantasyGodBSR I will be tweeting throughout Summerslam this Sunday. I’m guaranteed to entertain.